downhill

it's just like a roller coaster ride.
we went up,
then down really low,
and then back up a little,
and now,
all the way downnnnnn.
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there must be a reason why mothers are always the ones who nag.
they are the ones who always get paranoid over this and that.
they are the ones who get sensitive over the smallest issue.
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conclusion?
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FACE IT GUYS.
GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
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i mean,
nobody forced you to take us as your girlfriends.
and there you go complaining that we're stopping you from doing this and that,
and we are invading in your privacy and stuff like that?
there's a price to pay for having a girlfriend.
if you want personal space,
you're sick and tired of reporting your whereabouts to your girl,
THEN FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST BE SINGLE.
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personal space rhymes with cheating ways.
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if you're asking for personal space,
it means that you're allowing this relationship to go down the drain.
you need so much personal space?
then just get rid of your girl.
i'm sure you'll be able to breathe properly after that.
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so now what?
i'm a toy?
something for you to manipulate?
hey,
you can't get the best of both worlds.
love and affection comes with responsibility.
you can't just expect us girls to be all sweet and loving,
and then you make noise when we start asking where you went?
what you did?
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when we first got into a relationship,
it means that we accepted who you were, at that time.
and if you changed for the worse,
you can't possibly expect us to accept your bad changes right?
and when we don't,
you come and blame us for not being understanding,
you make noise when we try to stop you from becoming worse.
and then,
you get unhappy.
and the cycle repeats.
over the same issue over and over again.
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i didn't stop you from meeting your friends.
but when you tell me you'll go home at a certain time,
and you CONSTANTLY fail to keep your promise,
how do you expect me to trust you again?
worse still,
when i asked you how are we gonna solve this?
you actually said you'll increase the time limit longer,
so that you can fulfil it.
what rubbish?
i was so upset because you KEPT going home late.
and then?
you come and tell me that the solution to this problem is to allow you to go home even later?
excuse me?
are your brains burnt or something?
no wait,
it's not your brains.
it's your heart.
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your own selfish desires has overcomed the weight i have in your heart.
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you know i detest smokers.
you know i went to the extremes to stop you from smoking.
but yet,
you did it again and again and again.
so what now?
i'm supposed to accept you as a smoker?
i'm supposed to allow you to smoke as and when you please?
NO WAY.
the boyfriend that i first had does not smoke.
so why should i change myself and accept a smoker boyfriend now?
just because you changed,
it doesn't mean that i have to accept.
and when that happens,
we start a war.
and then?
it all becomes my fault for not being understanding enough.
what on earth is this?
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the boyfriend that i used to have dotes on me.
he devotes most of his free time to me.
i can accept it if you have commitments.
i know you are busy,
and i understand.
but why should i tolerate when you waste your sleeping time at night to do stupid things outside,
and reach home around 3 or 4am?
and then use your free time in the day to do your other stuff?
and then what am i left with?
i'm left with all the scrap transition time, you idiot.
the time i have with you is probably a few moments before you start classes,
a few moments before your cca starts,
a few moments before work?
why can't you use your rubbish doing night time to do your important things?
and then spend some quality time with me in the day?
WHY?
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so you sacrifice your important stuff for spending rubbish time outside at night,
and then you sacrifice sleep for your important things,
and then you sacrifice me for your important things.
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HUH?
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time management, hello?
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you know you are not like those ordinary kid out there,
who only has to juggle with schoolwork and probably cca.
you have your schoolwork,
you're the captain of your cca,
you have your flying commitments,
and there you are,
throwing hours of your life away,
doing nothing.
seriously,
what is this?
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and when i rather you catch up on your sleep than waste time outside,
you start getting unhappy,
and our quarrels start all over again.
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now what?
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1. wash my hands off your affairs.
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2. continue hoping for some miracle, and that you might return to the old you?
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3. give up on this relationship as it's too tiring.
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4. continue our up-down rollercoaster ride.
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fuck off.