moody monday

i'm feeling really really down now.
like extremely down.
sometimes life just gets too exhausting.
every single moment of the day drags on.
and to top it off,
it's only the start of the week.
school is hectic.
cca is a bother.
family is a wreckage.
though certain parts of my day is brightened up,
life still sucks.
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and,
i've just experienced the true meaning of somebody being a two headed snake.
she appears to be all nice and sweet.
but in actual fact,
she scares me quite a bit.
she scolded someone,
for an issue related to me,
and immediately after scolding that person,
she replied my sms in a happy tone.
tsk.
scary isn't it?
it's instant,
i swear.
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and,
i'm really shocked to know that my club members are terrified of me.
really appalled when i heard about it.
i don't see what's so scary about me.
i often go hopping and jumping and singing around like some mad women.
no doubt,
when it comes to serious business,
i do make sure i get things done the way it's suppose to be.
but to hear of people being really terrified of me,
i didn't see it coming my way.
someone told me that i have an aura around me in KE.
and that makes my members shield themselves from me in defence.
i mean,
like duh?
i'm the president.
if i don't do it,
who will?
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i've never wanted to be the president.
all i wanted,
is to be a member,
and to fulfil my duties within the club.
i didn't ask for the post.
i had to take it,
without a choice.
did i change because of that?
i'm definitely not aware of it.
i felt so lousy.
really really lousy.
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i told baby dee that i'm feeling down.
he waited for me at the void deck of my house after his dinner.
and i told him what's bothering me.
he assured me that everything's okay.
laopo told me that too.
and i can,
only wish for the better.