just realised.

i'm feeling like some emo shit now.

1. school is starting in two days time and i am willing to trade anything to change that fact.

2. i have heaps of assignments and projects that i have yet to complete.

3. there is nothing for me to look forward to in school.

4. i have yet to find a succesor to take over my presidential post in KE.

and that sucks

5. i can't stand getting irritated everyday and every moment.

6. i don't like it when i don't have close girlfriends in class.

7. i don't want to feel like a pathetic loner trapped in a bubble in school.

8. i don't want to feel like i'm in my own world.

9. i don't want to wake up early and queue up for the shuttle bus to school.

10. i don't fancy going home with the working crowd during peek hours.

11. i absolutely abhore getting onto bus 5 when it's full of foreign workers.

i don't mean to be a fucking racist,

but these group of people are just too disgusting to even be within one metre of contact.

12. i find that school is a complete toad and it's a total waste of time.

13. i don't wish to have a secured nanny diploma.

14. i dislike feeling helpless without any source of comfort anywhere in school.

15. i hate knowing that my baby dee is far away in the east while i'm in the west.

16. i hate to eat lunch in school because makan place will be fucking crowded and by the time we find a seat, and buy our food, lesson starts.

17. i hate presenting group projects because i find it absolutely meaningless.

18. i hate thinking of clothes to wear to school.

19. i detest trying to remember what i've wore a few days before in order not to repeat the same clothes in a week.

20. and the list goes on until the cows come home.

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and,

i have just came to realise that,

i am pathetic.

while others have groups and cliques of girlfriends,

i have none.

while others have girlfriends that take stupid pictures and bake inedible cakes,

i have none.

while others have girlfriends who they can really trust,

i have none.

basically,

my life revolves around my boyfriend,

it revolves around my obsession with beethoven sonatas,

it revolves around my family,

and probably revolves around work.

besides that,

nothing much.

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to end,

i miss Charmaine Low Pei Jun.

i miss stayovers and late night junks from 7eleven.

miss squeezing in the top of the double decker bed.

i miss Adeline Neo.

miss gossiping at places.

miss ranting and heartfelt talks.

right from the moment we first met,

i knew that she will be someone special to me.

and she is.

and that's about it.