tags replied :

cs : yup! shopping when we get our payyyyyyy.

xueryl : thanks for always being here. (:

eve : cute sia both of you!

xin yi : hee. shopping soon! :D

jin may : gosh. don't remind me of the soundmaker!

Gina : sorry no. but will update you if i have any!

hui hui : teacher's day? i don't wanna be a teacher.

bobby: yup. updating now.

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pictures can't be uploaded.

and it's pissing the shit out of me.

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brief update.

selling chocolates these few days.

thanks to jinmay dear.

though it's kinda irritating to be answering the same questions over and over again.

was posted to TPJC for 2 days.

met loads of primary and secondary school mates there.

been bombarded with the same few questions which made me wanna bang the wall.

"why are you selling chocolates here? "

"not schooling anymore? "

"you dropped out of school? "

"i thought you did quite well for your o levels, why... selling chocolates here? "

-.-

and i can only reply one, same, pathetic reply over and over again.

"i'm in poly, having holidays now. "

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how irritating can this get?

thanks vernon for accompanying me!

(:

going for 2 interviews tmr.

haven't decided what to wear.

hmm.

will update more when pictures can be posted.

(:

HAPPY 46 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY <3

-2 days ago-

p.s. if you notice, there's another face beside him.

and it's really funny as it matches our face.

-

the little random cards i made.

and chocolates you bought for me <3

--
Finally made a trip down to granny's last week.

yummy food for dinner.

coussie was really happy as there's extra dishes

went down with coussie to collect weeds.

it was a truly fun experience.

and we saw a really pretty sky.

after that,

went to get rootbeer and instant noodles.

back to granny's.

i cooked noodles for her.

hee hee.

tv,

and waffle crisps with milk!

waited for daddy,

and then he brought us for frog leg porridge.

an absolutely fulfilling day,

in terms of food.

:D

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studying for ITBD last week with laopo at coffeebean was futile.

ended up leaving quite early.

-

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exams have finally come to a halt.
indeed something worth celebrating about.
-
but then,
everyone else is still having their papers,
and nobody is free to go out.
hence,
home seems like the perfect place to be in.
-
DLE paper yesterday was a piece of cake.
it wasn't as tough as i imagined it to be.

town with xinyi and cherng shing yesterday.

talked and bitched and crapped alot.

settled down for fried mars balls with vanilla ice-cream.

an absolutely yummy but sinful treat.

job hunted at far east.

filled up application forms over and over again.

headed to cine

sat at Gloria Jean's coffee and talked for an hour and a half.

time flies when i'm with them!

me and cherng shing

--

xin yi and i

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-

-

heeren after that,

and bused home with xinyi.

really had a great time out with you two!

<3

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-

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spent the whole time today watching tv.

bought dinner home for my family.

and a bag of 2.5kg rice.

i nearly died on my way home.

didn't buy my own dinner cos i forgot and it's too heavy!

-

-

oh gosh.

exams please be over soon for dee!

otherwise i'll rot everyday at home like today.

):

tags replied:

hui hui : uh huh. i'm suay. but at least i can protect myself. :D

Roz: yup. no more fighting i hope. will try. (:

JM : hee. yup. thanks for everything. loves.

eve : haha. it's better now. just that there's a scar. i hope it's temporary. ):

xueryl : hee hee. don't jealous la. i still love you the most. :P

yan zong : chill mann. i'm perfectly fine. (:

xiangluan : haha. don't worry. i'm okay. (:

xueryl : yup. meet up soon, after my exams! miss you.

tingie : love you sister. <3

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ITBD paper yesterday was definitely a disaster.

i'm pretty sure i screwed the whole thing up.

i literally bombed my way through the entire paper.

filling the questions up with answers that don't seem to come from the textbook.

met tingie after that.

walked around the freezing cold mall.

my little finger was totally numb.

i couldn't even feel a thing when she pinched me really hard!

dee joined us for yogurt.

frozen yogurt with almonds and strawberries and grapes and oreos is the bestest thing ever.

:D

dee and i had it like, 3 or 4 times this week.

(:

after that,

went to e!hub to catch a movie with tingie.

after that,

went to the coffeeshop near home for dinner.

then we went home.

watched tv and bobby popped by.

both of us looked out of the balcony in fascination when he rode his motorbike away.

hahaha.

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OH YES.

i had this damn weird dream yesterday.

i dreamt that dee and i belong to this cca.

it's a really weird cca.

it's kinda like, surfing?

just that you have to lie on this plank of plastic looking wood and sort of make it move in the sea, using your hands.

so ya.

both of us were in that cca.

and i had a best friend.

in my dream,

my best friend is super super fat and round.

definitely not the kind of girl who's sweet and pleasant looking.

and then,

dee and i had this 'secret underground relationship'

which means,

nobody knows that we're together.

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-

in the cca,

i was the secretary.

so i do not have to engage myself in the sport.

all i have to do during training is to sit under a coconut tree and take down notes.

damn -.-

okay.

so ya.

my best friend had the biggest crush on dee.

so she kept telling me how much she liked him and so on.

and she kept going close to him!

):

but i couldn't say anything because nobody is suppose to know that dee and i were together.

it was a total nightmare i tell you.

and she asked him out,

and HE AGREED.

):

and i had to act gracious,

to let my best friend go on a date with my boyfriend!

haiyo.

i nearly banged the coconut tree beside me.

-

-

-

anyway,

in the dream,

dee and i stayed together in this apartment.

so,

we went to some supermarket to get our groceries.

then,

we bumped into boon they all at the supermarket.

we were holding hands.

but he didn't let go of my hand when we bumped into them.

-even though we're suppose to have an underground relationship-

it's a really weird dream.

then all of a sudden,

we saw cheryl, dennis, evelyn and yonghong.

but by right,

we're not suppose to know them.

cos we're in that plastic-wood-plank-pedalling cca.

so,

i had to act like i don't know them.

and of course,

they didn't recognise us either.

-.-

it's a damn weird dream.

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and when we bought our groceries home,

the house was decorated nicely with scented candles,

cushions, seashells, a candlelight dinner for 2,

and practically all those things you'll see in a tv drama when the guy is cooking western in the kitchen,

waiting for the girl to come home,

for a candlelight dinner on a table made up of glass.

yup.

that's exactly what i saw in the dream.

AND,

my fat best friend walked out of the kitchen,

wearing an apron,

with 2 plates of black pepper steak.

it's damn -.-

when she discovered that dee and i were a couple,

she fainted.

she literally fainted.

so we tried to put her on the couch,

but in vain cos she's too heavy.

so we just left her on the floor.

-.-

then i walked into the kitchen,

and saw 2 boxes of "happy western" in the dustbin.

means that she bought the steak instead of cooking it.

laughs la.

okay.

then i woke up.

ca't believe i remembered every single detail so vividly.

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okay.

can't wait for this stupid last paper to end.

then,

i would be really happy,

cos it's holidays!

:D

and i'm so gonna meet up with adeline. hee.

it's a big MUST. (:

anyway,
got to get back to studying for DLE.
so screwed, totally.

okay.

goodluck to everyone who is having your papers!

(:

the dream's not gonna come true right?

dee?

:D

don't you dare to run away with a fat girl.

<3

tags replied :

@.@ : laughs. eat more la you. so skinny.

xueryl : our pics are all here. :D

Gina : hees. loves. (:

yan zong : hees. :P see ya soon.

chantel : pics are here. :D

JM : i miss you too. alot. ):

xueryl : :D

xiang yu : you'll never get it back la. i think he throw away already. and, i'm not a pack of bones! (:

Ghost: yup yup. updating now.

Last day of school.

FM presentation.

in a mad rush when i reached school.

reason being,

we had to wear formal.

hence,

everyone was in a mad state of borrowing clothes and shoes from each other,

etc.

thanks meixuan for lending me heels,

and phanida for lending me jeans.

after that,

IMM with the girls.

went to secret recipe.

the brownie with ice-cream is simply a must try.

it's absolutely yummy,

and definitely a happy food when you're down.

yum.

bused back to school.

pictures on the bus.

me and chantel.

qihui, me and chantel.

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escape theme park last saturday.

suppose to be an outing with the guys,

met jian ji, karjuan, yiwei, rachel, raymond and junjie there.

but we splited and went on our own.

funny.

spent the whole time at escape with cheryl, dennis and dee.

became a double date.

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escape theme park is simply a place where it's nice to hang out with friends.

however,

definitely not a place that has thrilling rides.

we went for the wet and wild ride,

(in the boat)

and then the bumper boat thingy.

all of us were drenched to toes.

went out to smoke,

and tried to dry ourselves up a little by sitting under the sun.

started taking pictures for self entertainment.

dee and i





dennis and cheryl

me and cheryl

then our boyfriends trying to be macho.
:x





rock climbing boyfriends.
:D




self timed camera,

the four of us.

i like this picture.

went for lunch,

and then played awhile more.

when we were about to leave,

jian ji gave me this.

(:

thanks.

went to catch a movie,

and homed.

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Thursday

bobby accompanied me to bugis to get a new pair of sandals.

why?

i bought a pair of sandals last week.

it is black and has pretty jewels on it.

then,

it got stolen from my shoe rack.

-.-

anyway,

thanks bobby.

:D

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yesterday,

got myself drenched from head to toe just to buy some yummy food for my dearest.

waited for him at the bus stop,

he then went home to bathe and change.

after that,

headed down to east coast with dennis for haroz's birthday surprise bbq.

left first because of some issues.

crying my way out,

and bumped into the group of them who went out to buy drinks.

totally embarrassing.

and i felt like burying my head into a hole.

while i was walking home,

2 drunkards followed me.

ended up with a struggle with one of them,

and i kicked him.

ended up with a scratch on my left arm.

homed.

it doesn't even bother you that i'm in pain and bleeding.

all you did was to continue having fun out there.

i couldn't fall asleep at night,

but yet i didn't even dare to drop you a msg.

for fear that we might end up in another quarrell.

i stayed wide awake till 6am in the morning.

cos the pain is too much to bear.

it hurts from the wound,

as well as from the heart.

but do you even care?

i doubt it.

i was ransacking through my pictures.
and i saw my o level art sketches.
thinking about it,
it's something i'm proud of.
though,
it only got me a final grade of C5.
-
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and nope,
i do not like spiders.
neither am i a spider fanatic.
so,
don't ask why i drew spiders.
and my favourite picture,
it's a backview of a lady who is grasping on to her hair.

i like it.
i really do.
oh well.
but,
C5.
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anyway,
i drew 2 pictures when i was really really angry.
here it is.

stupid right.
okay.
it's finally coming to the end of the semester.
just can't wait for holidays to come.

gonna head down to bugis now.
oh yes.
i had a drastic lost of weight.
standing at a weight of 45 kg now.
which means i lost 5 kg.
good news isn't it?
i like.

The wake up call

tags replied

cousin : yup. i love you too.
hui hui : i'll take care.
chantel : don't worry. glad to have you girls in school.
cs : yup. i'll be okay.
qihui : don't worry. thanks for everything in school.
yan zong : yupp. don't worry. told you not to over-react.
tingy : i love you too sister.
evelyn : what a surprise to see your tag. thanks for your concern.



and to a very special person in my heart
CHERYL

thanks for everything.
really.
be it the random meetings,
the donuts,
the eeyore,
the cake thingy,
and all other presents....
thanks for being there for me, always.
thanks for bringing me out to unwind.
thanks for making the effort to make me feel better.
thanks for coming into my life.

really appreciate everything.
really.
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and to my other lovelies like jinmay and tiffany,
thank you for being there with me.
you girls filled up my life with so much love, hope and concern.
you girls never fail to show how much you care for me.
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and of course to bobby,
you said i'm like a sister from a different parent.
that makes you my brother from another family.
thanks for baking those wonderful cookies for me.
it's your first time baking cookies,
and you baked it for me.
thank you so much.
it was something filled with love.
and i can really feel it.
thanks bob, my bro.
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to my school lovelies like chantel, joleen, qi hui, hui hui and of course, REGINA,
thanks a million for being there.
you people are the poor things who have to see my black face about 99 percent of the time.
being the first few people i see in the morning,
you girls have to bear with my moody outburst and horrible face.
yet,
you never give up trying to make me feel better.
all the drinks, food, snacks, and naggings,
forced me to take care of myself better.
thank you girls.
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and of course my closest people like dee, tingy, dad and mum,
you all are the ones who never fail to put the smile back on my face.
especially tingy who will try and be a clown for me.
and you cooked noodles for me,
for the first time in your life.
thanks my dear sister.
i promise i'll wait for you at your school bus stop next week when i do not have school.
i will be there.
and to my dearest sweetest dee dee
you are the poorest thing who has to suffer each and every of my attitudes
you have to give in to me on whatever i want or insist on.
yet you never fail to show your undying love for me.
i kept asking if you love me.
and your answer would always be a yes.
thanks for accompanying me despite being angry at me.
thanks for giving me a chance to explain.
and thanks for believing me.
i love you, and i truly do.

lastly,
adeline.
your text gave me the biggest shock.
which is why i named this post as the wake up call.
you're right.
i shouldn't be taking everyone for granted.
it's not that i want to.
i'm trying to get rid of my negative thoughts and behaviour.
with lots of help from others,
i'm able to get through it slowly now.
you mean alot to me,
and i can't bear to lose someone like you.
i know you'll always be there for me.
once i've braced myself up,
i'll be there for you.
love you girl.

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i shouldn't be taking everyone for granted.
i'm sorry.
love all of you,
who have become a part of my life.

it's 2.34am.
to those who care,
i'll be fine.
don't worry.
coussie, tingy, dee, , bobby, melmi, jinmay, michelle, tiff, cheryl, adeline, hui hui, regina, chantel, joleen, qihui, and many others.
really appreciate everything you all have done for me.
be it buying of stuff, making of things, encouraging msgs, etc.
thanks for showing that you care.
thanks for helping me to fill up that gaping hole i have in me.
thanks for being there.
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projects are a killer.
spent an extremely long period of time trying to do ITBD poster today.
i seriously don't know what happened to me.
but using microsoft words, powerpoint and paint seems to much more harder.
i kept asking dee how to do this or that,
or where to find certain buttons.
-
-
eventually,
i was kinda proud with the poster that i've completed.
but,
i guess it's far too lousy to be used.
lots of amendments have to be made.
i felt so lousy.
it's just a bloody poster.
and yet i can't do it properly.
i'm a loser,
and a failure in life.
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-
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i can't accept criticsms.
i hate myself.
it's just a stupid poster...
just a poster......
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currently stuck with DLE project.
we have to do up a corner tomorrow.
the theme is bakery.
i thought of the theme.
just completed the chart.
after finishing it,
i realised that i took 3 hours to do something that is so simple.
why?
it's just a stupid chart.
one stupid bloody chart.
and it took me 3 hours.
why?
told you,
i'm a loser,
and a failure in life.
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while doing the chart,
i kept thinking.
what's gonna happen if i die?
how's everyone gonna react?
will it even matter?
does my presence even matter?
guess not.
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going back to making my biscuits now.
so sorry to all my groupmates.
it's your misfortune to have me as your group member.
it's your mishap to work with me.
i'll try my best.
please accept me for being a loser,
and a failure in life.

miserable nights