LOVES

2010-03-19T16:36:00.001+08:00

hi all, i've moved.
http://honey-coated-love.blogspot.com/
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link or not to link,
visit or not to vist,
it's up to you!

empty promises are as good as lies.

2010-03-14T21:46:00.003+08:00

tags replies.
tingy: there you go, your thank you post.
adeline: i prefer calling it kiap kiap!
passerby: thanks!
tiffany: of course la. laopo mah. (:
xue: yea she told me so too. and, unless you have a guilty conscience, otherwise you wouldn't think that way. replied you over sms alr.
adeline: of course la. you're one of my dearest. (:
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work at iluma.
did opening alone.
was damn blur today.
i forgot to switch on the lights,
i forgot to close the machine cover,
i imagined that there are more knifes in the shop,
i keep forgetting what i wanted to do.
germaine caught my mistakes and she kept laughing.
she was so proud of her smoothies.
you should see her classic reactions when there is a smoothie order.
her eyes literally light up.
hahahaha.
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ended work and accompanied Germaine for her break.
had yogurt while she ate her home packed food.
homed after that.
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it's an extremely heart wrenching day today.
you failed to keep your promise.
you didn't even manage to carry it out in the first place.
i'm sick and tired of all these.
i'm so disappointed in you.
what happened to the trust that we built up over the years?
it's all gone now.
your friends matter more than building up the trust i have for you.
they matter more to you than keeping your promise to me.
i'm not angry, i'm just upset.
being upset and disappoint is worse than being angry.
at least,
anger allows you to vent it on things.
but being upset and disappointed doesn't go away that easily.
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our relationship is just like a ladder.
a shaky ladder, to be exact.
the first few steps are uncertain,
and hence, you exercise caution while being on it.
as you climb higher,
your confidence build up.
and when the ladder finally gives way,
you fall further down.
that's how i'm feeling now.

hypocrites

2010-03-13T21:33:00.002+08:00

before i start with my post,
i want to thank beryl low wei ting for being such an awesome sister.
though she's extremely annoying sometimes,
but she's always there for me,
listening to my sorrows and heartaches.
love you tingy dear.
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just came back after watching Breakout with baby dee at esplanade.
thumbs up for the show.
can't wait to go for the next one. (:
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work at Woodlands Ring Secondary school yesterday.
sold chocolates with aunty again.
sales was so good that we sold out for most of the items.
record breaking sales ever.
aunty gave me ritter sport chocolate, gummy bears, and 2 boxes of chocolates.
she was really nice and funny la.
she asked me if i smelt something nice,
and i didn't smell anything.
after awhile she realised that it was my perfume.
and then she asked:
aunty: you used perfume is it?
me: yup, why?
aunty: very nice leh. what brand ah?
me: DKNY. it's the green apple be-delicious one.
aunty: Ohh. expensive?
me: quite. i couldn't bear to buy it despite wanting it so much. and my best friend bought it for me for christmas last year.
aunty: WAH YOUR FRIEND SO GOOD. YOUNGSTERS THESE DAYS VERY GOOD TO EACH OTHER AH.
me: hahaha, she's my laopo mah.
aunty: AIYO, CLOSE UNTIL CAN MARRY EACH OTHER.
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laughed non stop.
hehehe,
thanks laopo for the perfume. (:
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hypocrite: a person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives.
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i mean, it's a fact that everybody practice hipocrisy at some point of time in their lives.
towards certain people, and for certain reasons,
such behaviour is shown.
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in my opinion,
if i dislike somebody and i bitch about that person,
it is unlikely that i will ask that person out to catch up,
or some shopping trip or gathering.
i mean,
i obviously dislike you.
so why should i make myself miserable by spending time with you,
and then getting annoyed by your actions and after that,
i'll bitch about you again.
sadly enough,
most people do that.
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i don't understand why do some people behave like this.
for example,
you bitch to me about this particular person,
and claim that you can't tolerate her nonsense anymore.
and then the next thing i know,
you're blogging about an outing that you've enjoyed so much with that particular person.
posting pictures
and then after that,
you come and bitch to me about things that the person did.
-.-
i mean,
if you really dislike him/her so much,
why bother asking that person out?
or why even bother going out with that person?
if i really dislike somebody,
and that person has successfully made me hate him/her,
i wouldn't even bother going out with him/her.
and it's true.
i made all sorts of excuses to avoid meeting this particular person.
the sight of him/her annoys the hell out of me.
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and then,
i know that another particular person doesn't like me because of something that i did not even do.
fine.
you can carry on maligning.
because in the first place,
you are not even someone that matters to me.
to the extent,
if something tragic happened to you,
i won't even be bothered.
you will get your retribution.
and since you tell others how much you dislike me,
why did you even bother telling me how much you care for me?
and if i needed someone you'll always be there for me?
give me a break you hypocritical bitch.
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another one,
she blogged about things that were obviously referring to me.
and she made use of me for her own selfish desires.
she told me that she regarded me as a very close friend,
someone like a sister.
and yet,
she bitched about me to others,
and obviously in her blog posts.
-.-
what do you call this?
i call this being a two faced bitch.
which also means, a hypocrite!
she claimed that i'm her close friend right?
but my boyfriend matters more to her than me.
in various situations,
she obviously preferred having my boyfriend around than me.
and she'll only ask my boyfriend out, not me.
what rubbish is this, seriously?
i can't stand it.
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i admit,
i, myself, am a hypocrite sometimes.
sometimes we get hypocritical to prevent unwanted situations to happen.
it's something like a white lie.
but when i do bitch about someone,
i definitely don't go and act close to them .
neither will i organise outings with them or initiate contact.
the thought of allowing myself to suffer in their presence just puts me off.
people,
just give me a break.
don't come bitching to me about others,
and then act happy and close to them.
it's just plain disgusting.

sunny island

2010-03-11T00:57:00.007+08:00

suntanning with adeline and baby dee.
met up at outram park mrt station before heading down to sentosa.

hehehe.
and i prepared potato salad and mangoes.

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and the sun was BURNING hot.
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adeline emo,
because i'm so far away from her.
):
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dee drew a tortoise on the sand.
and i thought it was intelligent to add the eyes and the mouth.
both of them laughed at me after that,
because the tortoise is meant to be facing downwards.
-.-
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and then we went for some luge thing,
it was horrifying la.
so scary.
washed up after that,
and then we went to eat.
baby dee followed us,
but he left for dinner elsewhere with his flying instructor.
and so,
we had chicken rice.

13 dollars chicken rice per person.
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after dinner,
adeline and i went tiong bahru to kiap.
such a pleasant experience luh!
we met really nice people.
hehehe.
even the arcade aunty who has a "i-go-by-the-book-face" helped us to 'cheat'.

adeline caught a melody stuffed toy for me.
it's super cute you know!
it walks!
AHHHH.
so damn cute.
we went home feeling happy.
baby dee waited for me at the mrt station.
i was damn shocked to see him there la!
showed him the melody,
and he thought it was adorable too.
hehehe.
i love you la adeline. (:
our next date,
31st march!
hehehehe, can't wait!
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oh yes,
my ear piercing.
i googled and it's called the 'snug'.

i want to remove the stud and replace it with a bigger stud.
but it kinda hurts,
so i don't really have the guts to touch it.
i guess i'll just leave it alone for awhile.

stuffed happiness.

2010-03-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

seriously,
if i were to set up a shop,
i'll open a kiap kiap shop.
it's extremely profitable luh!
those machines are like money grabbers.
and it's kinda addictive too.
i mean,
who can stop with just one try?
you'll definitely be tempted to carry on playing till you get that damn toy!
and the hello kitty pot i won from kiap kiap with CS and xinyi!

haha.
so cute right?
(:
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and also,
the handphone keychaines that the guy in the shop gave.
i mean,
i attempted to catch it,
but failed after spending 5 bucks.
and he 'dropped' all these inside the box. (:

SO ADORABLE RIGHT OMG.
irresistable lah!
gave it away to CS, xinyi, laopo, tingy, and emm's one is still with me!
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few weeks ago,
i helped my sister to wash her beloved stuffed toy.
it's 11 years old this year.
it came from the macdonalds hello kitty craze.
and she's super attached to him.
his name is xiao di.
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before washing.
extremely grey, dusty, and DISGUSTING.

YUCK.
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after soaking!

a little bit whiter after adding bleach.
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and then,

hang him up to dry!
so adorable.
hahaha.
it's so old that the hair is no longer there anymore.
and he has holes in his pants.
and mummy sewed a button on his shirt because it broke.
so poor thing.
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and of course,
i have my little cutie too.
his name is cookie.
and he's the first present i received from baby dee!
cookie is 5 years old this year.
half a decade old!

*screams!*
he's so cute.

laopo took this picture last year!
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actually,
i have no idea why am i posting this weird post on stuffed toys.
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anyway,
brief update.
life's been quite alright.
revolving around work, stoning at home, and friends.
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went out with ellene that day.
wanted to have dessert buffet at ion orchard, swensens!
had a HARD time looking for the swensens.
it's located at a damn ulu section la.
-.-
it's damn big and empty when we went there.
after touring the dessert section,
we decided to give the buffet a miss,
and eat their normal main course instead.
we felt quite dumb after that because we could have met up at an ordinary swensens that is located near our homes.
-.-
but oh well.
we talked and talked and talked,
and we filled each other up with 2 years worth of updating.
eventually ended up at pasir ris to pierce our ears!
finally had enough courage and motivation to pierce the bone inside my ear.
i like it very much!
(:
though it hurts alot.
ellene couldn't make up her mind on whether to pierce or not.
judging from the way i said 'OUCH!',
she decided against piercing the bone,
and she had the top of her ear pierced instead.
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roamed around whitesands and bought adorable earrings.
back to tampines and bought her book.
supposed to meet dearest adeline,
cancelled in the end.
but oh well,
suntanning next tues! can't wait!
homed after that.
really had a great day with her!
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thurs
tingy fell sick.
i think i spreaded my sickness to her.
accompanied her to the doctor,
and we had mac breakfast while waiting for her turn.
shhhhh.
mummy doesn't know that i brought her for macdonalds.
was very late by the time she collected her medicine.
flagged a cab and sent her home before going to work at iluma.
mabel came down in the morning and accompanied me for awhile.
she went off for work at parkway.
so funny la she.
the day passed and baby dee came to pick me up from work.
had some little squabbles on our way to school.
but everything turned out alright eventually.
he accompanied me to school to collect tickets for SCC's concert.
had dinner in school,
and he was envying the wide variety of food my school has.
went off to e!hub to catch a movie.
watched that jack neo show,
the one about slimming centres.
don't waste your money on it!
in my opinion, it's bullshit.
homed after that.
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friday.
it was a damn boring day.
-.-
i stoned the whole day away at home.
didn't even bother to eat anything.
met mummy for dinner.
homed,
was on the standby mode to accompany ellene for drinking session because she wasn't feeling too happy. ):
eventually she didn't call me back.
ellene i hope you're okay!
watched tv and did 100 sit ups before sleeping.
i will and i must get my figure back.
i'm so fat now.
):
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today.
as usual,
stoned the morning away.
met laopo in the evening for dinner and yogurt.
off to school we went for SCC's concert.
and i was going gaga overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............
laopo you know who la huh.
AHHHHH.
HE'S SO CUTE.
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had ramen ten for dinner and homed after that.
a siberian husky puppy was roaming around while i was walking home.
it's damn cute la!
and it sniffed my feet and followed me a little.
it's owner was following it on a bicycle.
so cute la.
alright.
i'm going off to bed now.
baby's clubbing now!
enjoy life la.
he's celebrating cos he passed his flying test and he's getting his license.
i'm so happy for him.
it's a damn good day.
lalala~

after thoughts.

2010-03-03T12:02:00.004+08:00

as an afterthought,
i realised that my previous post was rather silly.
that temporary moment of emotions overwhelmed me.
friends,
of course, lovely ones.
i should have known that i have my lovely friends around me.
after putting a not-so-happy- msn nick,
at least 20 conversation windows popped out.
friends, asking what's wrong.
friends, asking what can they do to help.
and yet i blogged that ridiculous post?
i must have lost my sanity.
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and so,
feeling so dejected the whole night,
Ellene dear wanted to meet me for dessert buffet.
so yup,
she's gonna bring me.
and i'm so excited about it.
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supposed to make a trip down to school today.
but for several reasons,
it's postponed to tmr.
thank goodness Gary is okay with it.
shall go down to school after work tomorrow.
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to end,
thanks for everybody's concern,
and laopo please get well soon.

pathetic

2010-03-03T00:52:00.002+08:00

uh huh,
i AM pathetic.
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feeling so fucked up now.
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can't even find a friend to binge eating with me tmr.
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i am THAT pathetic.
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and i DESERVE it.
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CLARABEL LOW YOU SEE LA YOU.
EVERYDAY BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND.
NOW HE DON'T WANT YOU,
YOU GOT NO MORE FRIENDS.
YOU NEED SOMEONE,
NOBODY IS THERE.
WANT TO GO AND VENT YOUR ANGER?
WANT TO GO AND GORGE YOURSELF WITH ICE-CREAM?
WANT TO GO AND DROWN YOURSELF IN THE LAKE?
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GO LOR.
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NOBODY CARES.
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NOBODY IS THERE, ANYWAY.
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STUFF YOURSELF WITH ICE-CREAM,
ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET MORE SICK.
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NICE ONE CLARABEL LOW.
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YOUR LIFE IS FULFILLING.
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THUMBS UP FOR YOUR WONDERFUL LIFESTYLE.

love quizzes

2010-03-02T00:18:00.002+08:00

LoveTest Results for:

Clarabel Low & Siok Xue Qian

LoveTest Questionnaire Analysis:

Siok Xue Qian will break up with you, Clarabel Low!

There are always ups and downs in every relationship. Although you think you know a lot about your partner already, you might want to spend some more quality time together. Love, trust, understanding, affection, honesty, tolerance and loyalty are very important factors for a successful relationship. Think about what's still missing in your relationship and how you could improve it.

Should you dump your boyfriend?

Your responses indicate that you may want to dump your boyfriend. If you don't want to dump him, let him know that he needs to become more loving and caring towards you. He needs to take more initiatives to ensure that your love keeps on blooming.
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work tmr,

still feeling very unwell.

cough, flu, sore throat.

ugh, sucks.

downhill

2010-03-01T17:56:00.004+08:00

it's just like a roller coaster ride.
we went up,
then down really low,
and then back up a little,
and now,
all the way downnnnnn.
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there must be a reason why mothers are always the ones who nag.
they are the ones who always get paranoid over this and that.
they are the ones who get sensitive over the smallest issue.
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conclusion?
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FACE IT GUYS.
GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
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i mean,
nobody forced you to take us as your girlfriends.
and there you go complaining that we're stopping you from doing this and that,
and we are invading in your privacy and stuff like that?
there's a price to pay for having a girlfriend.
if you want personal space,
you're sick and tired of reporting your whereabouts to your girl,
THEN FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST BE SINGLE.
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personal space rhymes with cheating ways.
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if you're asking for personal space,
it means that you're allowing this relationship to go down the drain.
you need so much personal space?
then just get rid of your girl.
i'm sure you'll be able to breathe properly after that.
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so now what?
i'm a toy?
something for you to manipulate?
hey,
you can't get the best of both worlds.
love and affection comes with responsibility.
you can't just expect us girls to be all sweet and loving,
and then you make noise when we start asking where you went?
what you did?
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when we first got into a relationship,
it means that we accepted who you were, at that time.
and if you changed for the worse,
you can't possibly expect us to accept your bad changes right?
and when we don't,
you come and blame us for not being understanding,
you make noise when we try to stop you from becoming worse.
and then,
you get unhappy.
and the cycle repeats.
over the same issue over and over again.
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i didn't stop you from meeting your friends.
but when you tell me you'll go home at a certain time,
and you CONSTANTLY fail to keep your promise,
how do you expect me to trust you again?
worse still,
when i asked you how are we gonna solve this?
you actually said you'll increase the time limit longer,
so that you can fulfil it.
what rubbish?
i was so upset because you KEPT going home late.
and then?
you come and tell me that the solution to this problem is to allow you to go home even later?
excuse me?
are your brains burnt or something?
no wait,
it's not your brains.
it's your heart.
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your own selfish desires has overcomed the weight i have in your heart.
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you know i detest smokers.
you know i went to the extremes to stop you from smoking.
but yet,
you did it again and again and again.
so what now?
i'm supposed to accept you as a smoker?
i'm supposed to allow you to smoke as and when you please?
NO WAY.
the boyfriend that i first had does not smoke.
so why should i change myself and accept a smoker boyfriend now?
just because you changed,
it doesn't mean that i have to accept.
and when that happens,
we start a war.
and then?
it all becomes my fault for not being understanding enough.
what on earth is this?
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the boyfriend that i used to have dotes on me.
he devotes most of his free time to me.
i can accept it if you have commitments.
i know you are busy,
and i understand.
but why should i tolerate when you waste your sleeping time at night to do stupid things outside,
and reach home around 3 or 4am?
and then use your free time in the day to do your other stuff?
and then what am i left with?
i'm left with all the scrap transition time, you idiot.
the time i have with you is probably a few moments before you start classes,
a few moments before your cca starts,
a few moments before work?
why can't you use your rubbish doing night time to do your important things?
and then spend some quality time with me in the day?
WHY?
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so you sacrifice your important stuff for spending rubbish time outside at night,
and then you sacrifice sleep for your important things,
and then you sacrifice me for your important things.
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HUH?
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time management, hello?
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you know you are not like those ordinary kid out there,
who only has to juggle with schoolwork and probably cca.
you have your schoolwork,
you're the captain of your cca,
you have your flying commitments,
and there you are,
throwing hours of your life away,
doing nothing.
seriously,
what is this?
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and when i rather you catch up on your sleep than waste time outside,
you start getting unhappy,
and our quarrels start all over again.
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now what?
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1. wash my hands off your affairs.
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2. continue hoping for some miracle, and that you might return to the old you?
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3. give up on this relationship as it's too tiring.
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4. continue our up-down rollercoaster ride.
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fuck off.

oh, like whatever.

2010-02-25T23:21:00.004+08:00

and so,
papers are over, like finally.
i have to admit that i didn't put in much effort for both papers.
i don't expect good results because i don't deserve it.
but however,
luck was on my side.
and those that i studied came out.
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Monday.
met laopo for lunch before the paper.
after lunch had yogurt and then went kiap kiap.
spent 5 bucks in the shop,
didn't catch anything,
but the guy that worked there was so nice la.
he dropped the toys into the box for me.
and he even allowed me to change it for the toys that i wanted.
had 7 or 8 super cute keychaines.
it's really super cute.
post pictures of them next time!
off we went to school.
and the happy me was so happy with the toys.
didn't even bother to revise my notes before the test.
after paper,
went off to plaza sing with banana xinyi and cs.
ate jap food,
and then,
kiap kiap!
omg.
spent hours in the shop,
each of us spent about 50 bucks.
brought a bag of toys home and a hello kitty pot.
-.-
exams caused us to lose our sanity.

Tuesday.
supposed to set off for genting with CS and emm.
4 days and 3 nights.
due to some unforeseen circumstances,
we decided not to go.
and there goes 100 bucks for hotel and transport.
rotted the day away at home.

Wednesday.
something made me REALLY mad.
i'm not gonna talk about it.
went for singing session with jia min and jin may.
totally moodless.
ended up lying on the sofa and allowing them to entertain me.
met laopo around 9.
had my dinner,
and then off we went to powerhouse.
anger venting session.

toilet at vivo.

as usual, bourbon and cola.
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non stop dancing for more than 3 hours.
some guy asked to dance with me,
and i told him i'm lesbian.
he was shocked.
then he went back to his friends,
his friends laughed at him.
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saw zhao wei.
shocked to see him there,
he was shocked to see me there too.
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my poor feet was stepped/ jumped on by some stupid people 5 times at the dancefloor.
damn angry.
i swear i'm going to wear heels next time.
heels that are sharp and pointy.
i'll step them back.
i swear.
i shall ignore the fact that i will look damn tall with heels.
i don't care.
i had so many scratches and blisters la.
ROAR.
damn angry.

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left the club at 3 plus.
went to our locker,
and a poor girl was sitting by the corner,
trying to open her locker.
but i think she was drunk,
and she had no friends with her.
she couldn't put her key into the keyhole.
we helped,
and realised that her key cannot open the locker.
i think she forgot which locker she kept her stuff in.
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cabbed to laopo's place.
showered,
she lent me her clothes.
and then,
she cooked for me.
♥
mushrooms with prawns.
she knows i love mushrooms.
i felt so loved then!
and i forgot to mention,
we bought the mushrooms before we went to club.
that poor packet of mushrooms was stuffed into the locker.

tadah.
made with love.
our legs were on the verge of breaking la.
so damn tired.
and she still insisted in cooking,
while i sat down at the kitchen and waited.
love you la laopo! (:
and we had maggie mee too.
ate while watching MTV,
lady gaga bad romance was featured.
:D
:D
:D
so in love with lady gaga!
everybody at the club went high when bad romance and poker face played.
:D
:D
:D
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okay,
so we slept after that.
stephi, her dog,
squeezed with me again.
left her place in the morning.
so damn tired.
went home,
bathed and slept.
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and so,
that was today.
had dinner at coffeeshop with daddy and tingy.
he ordered a bottle of tiger beer.
shared with him and he turned red really quickly after a few sips.
he then opted for sprite while i finished the rest of the beer.
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supposed to go out with the girls tmr.
but i doubt i can make it becauseeeeeeeeeeee.
mum's on mc and dad's on leave and it's compulsary for me to stay at home.
what nonsense is this,
ROAR.

Greed

2010-02-21T13:45:00.006+08:00

i don't get it.
why are humans greedy by nature?
why can't we all be satisfied with what we have?
it's so disgusting.

you have people who are power hungry.
greed for more power and control over certain things.
i don't get it.
what's with getting all the power and controlling something?
don't be dumb.
it just means added responsibilities.
hello?
life is tiring enough.
why are you looking for trouble for yourself?
it's okay to aspire to be a leader.
it's not okay to backstab people and push people down,
just to get yourself up.
disgusting.

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and then you have people who are extreme attention seekers.
what do you need so much attention for?
so that more people can criticise you?
the more you try to get attention,
the more disgusted and amused people are.
what's wrong with leading an ordinary life?
with loving families, friends, and a partner.
why isn't that enough?
continue doing what you're doing.
you can just simply see the amount of hatred people have for you escalating.

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next, overwhelmed by your own sexual needs and desires.
hello?
you need to fuck someone so much?
go and get a whore.
don't target young and innocent victims.
are you too broke to spend $50 on a prostitute?
if yes,
then just keep your fucking dick zipped inside your pants.
DO NOT LET IT OUT, DAMN IT.
ever so often,
we have cases of young girls getting raped or molested on their way home.
we have cases of girls getting molested during countdowns or events.
and you fuckers don't even let us off when we take public transport.
seriously,
just because we are young,
it doesn't mean that we are an easy target.
i have plenty of encounters with such assholes.
molesters, flashers.
i slapped a guy on the bus before.
i smacked a guy's hand on the train before.
i stepped on a guy's foot before.
a flasher followed me to my doorstep before.
a guy squeezed my butt in the swimming pool when i was young.
a classmate jumped onto me and hugged me in primary school.
and some others,
which i can't recall now.
you see!
why can't these horny bastards just keep themselves at home and watch porn?
pornography is so easily accessible now.
stop ruining the lives of our young ones in the society you faggots.
you destroy their lives,
you make them feel unworthy,
people look down on them,
and you SCAR them for life okay.
stupid assholes.
-
and the second kind,
boyfriends who take girls as sex slaves or toys.
it is OKAY, if you treat the girl well and you really love her.
it is NOT OKAY if you lie to the girl about how much you love her,
just for fucking's sake,
and then abandon her when you are done.
i admit,
sometimes we girls are too dumb,
because we get blinded over sweet talks easily.
BECAUSE WE TRUST THAT YOU REALLY LOVE US.
so bastards out there,
just STOP taking advantage of this weakness we have.
it's just simply disgusting.
and you know what?
i recently found out that guys in US are having a petition,
which is,
TO BE GIVEN A CHOICE OF WHETHER THEY SHOULD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE CHILD THAT THEY FATHERED.
omg.
what on earth is this?
hey,
when you guys put your fucking sperm inside us,
we are the ones who have to suffer okay.
suffer with the bloody symptoms,
the morning sickness,
the nauseous feelings.
we are the ones who have to bear with our body ballooning up into some enormous freak.
WE ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE TO AVOID CERTAIN KINDS OF FOOD OKAY.
we are also the poor ones who will be accused of not practising self love,
and we are the ones who will be mocked at by others.
for those young girls who are pregnant,
THEY ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE TO STOP SCHOOLING.
and you fuckers?
you can carry on with your lives as per normal.
and you feel that shagging a girl and making her pregnant is something awesome?
YOU DISGUSTING FUCKING MAGGOTS.
and how dare you start with that petition?
after suffering for 9 whole months,
the only thing you fuckers can compensate us is probably to pay for the child's expenses.
is that too much to ask for?
if the government ever approve such nonsense,
the world will turn into chaos.
girls should start this petition.
MOTHERS HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE IF THEY WANT TO KEEP THE CHILD AFTER GIVING BIRTH. THE FATHERS SHALL NOT BE GIVEN A SAY.
isn't this better?
-
and also,
i think rapers should be castrated before being sent to life imprisonment.
and they should be locked in cells with muscular and burly cellmates.
probably those who robbed.
robbers have to be physically fit right?
otherwise how can they run from the police?
okay.
castrated rapers should be locked into cells that consists of gangsters and robbers.
that's better.
you shall see what those people do to you faggots.

-
and then, you have people who are greedy for money.
i mean,
who doesn't enjoy having more money to spend?
if i were to be a thousand dollars richer,
i would be damn happy.
BUT,
it's not okay if you are a compulsive gambler.
to the extent that your family suffers with you.
stop imagining that you will get rich overnight by gambling.
there is a reason for gambling booths to be surviving.
it simply means that the odds of you striking a fortune is very low.
get it?
stop imagining and living in the clouds.
come down back to earth and start living a decent life!
if you are that capable,
then why are you gambling your life away?
why must you drag your family down with you?
taking your daughter's pocket money away from her to gamble?
taking your daughter's piano school fees to gamble?
taking away months of her working pay away to gamble?
and always promising that you will return.
but did you?
you only took more.
what nonsense is this?
you jolly well know that your daughter is a softhearted person.
and hence,
she doesn't wish to reject you.
but it doesn't mean that you can continue doing it, right?
when will you stop this and start resuming your responsibility as a parent?
other parents provide their child with material needs or wants.
your daughter has to provide herself with material needs okay.
not even talking about material wants.
and that's why a part time job is needed.
and then,
you just come and take away everything from her,
promising that you'll return over the weekends.
but did that day ever come?
NO.
other children ask their parents for the latest gadgets.
whatever ipod, itouch, iphone, psp, xbox, and whatever.
your daughter has to save her money and pay part of her own laptop to reduce the burden of her mother.
JUST BECAUSE YOUR GAMBLING HABITS MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE FAMILY.
what nonsense is this?
ROAR.
-
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I AM SO ANGRY NOW THAT I CAN EAT A LION.

♥

2010-02-19T01:46:00.003+08:00

exam in 12 hours' time.

and i'm not even halfway through!
writing notes like crazy,
baby dee entertaining me online,
and then suddenly,
he's at my doorstep to pass me his jacket.
i'm so bringing it to school tomorrow.
lalala~
he's been surprising me alot lately,
and i'm indescribably happy.
okay,
i can float to the clouds now.
hehehe.
hang on,
i still have exams to study for.
ROAR.
):
back to my slides.
such a spoiler.

hindrance.

2010-02-18T01:06:00.002+08:00

chinese new year,
the typical thing.
reunion dinner,
visiting,
and i thought i saw CS on sunday.
turns out to be,
it really was her!
more visiting,
kay poh cousins pestering for information about dee,
tingy betrayed me and told them about him.
thanks alot sister. -.-
ate the same food over and over again.
i swear,
i had chicken curry for EVERY single meal since saturday.
plus,
my mum cooked a HUGE pot of curry that is supposed to survive us for a few days.
-
-
-
work yesterday.
new colleagues,
friendly and nice.
baby dee surprised me by picking me up!
he then went to my place to visit,
and then we went out.
had dinner at fig and olives.
caught a movie,
percy jackson and the lightning thief.
was reluctant to, at first.
but the movie was good.
:D
homed.
-
-
-
today.
dee came over to my place to studyyyyyyyyyyy.
had lunch at coffeshop,
vermicelli again!
study againnnnnnnnnnn.
was not productive for me at all.
but at least he studied!
thanks xinyi dear for sending me notes. (:
went out after that to meet cousin and ryuta.
e!hub.
jap food for dinner.
sushi and ramen, yum.
wanted to go prawning,
but it started to drizzle.
went to the arcade instead.
played till our arms could take it no longer.
and fabulous dee placed his card in the pocket,
and he played the basketball game,
and the card tapped through his pocket.
so we had 8 more tries for the basketball game.
and we all know,
that game can cause temporary arm damage.
we were exhausted by the time we cleared the 8 games.
homed after that.
-
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i'm so dead.
exam's on friday.
i'm not even done with ONE chapter.
so deaddddddddddd.
):

whatever luh huh.
do what you want.
i can't be bothered,
anymore.

hallelujah chorus!

2010-02-12T00:32:00.003+08:00

finally finally finally over and done with projects.
i can almost hear the hallelujah chorus.
seriously,
i owe bobby 10 cartons worth of thanks!
i wouldn't be able to complete the IT assignment if it's not for your help.
thanks bobby,
my brother from another family.
:D
-
-
-
and so,
met bobby at coffeebean today.
he taught me how to do the basic basic stuff,
and i was so fascinated luh.
i sent him the assignment descriptor yesterday night.
i haven't even looked at it.
and then,
he actually printed it out and highlighted the important parts and analysed the whole thing for me.
i felt so guilty luh.
):
and anyway,
he went out to smoke,
and i was trying to figure out the button thingy.
and then,
baby dee plopped and sat beside me.
i got a shock luh.
but nevertheless,
a sweet surprise.
(:
bobby left for school,
i bought cup noodles and shared cheesy hotdog with dee while walking home.
he left for school,
and i followed him to the bus stop.
wanted to buy ingredients for dinner,
and i bumped into tingy!
bought the things,
went home to cook.
fish porridge for my family for dinner.
hehehe.
potential housewife.
:D
i just realised that i didn't eat the cup noodles that i bought for lunch luh.
-.-
and then killed ten thousand brain cells while completing IT,
and tadah~
i'm done.
happy happy happy.
oh yes,
while doing the project just now,
i kept seeing a black moving figure.
i thought i was on the edge of having some severe mental disorder.
or perhaps i was too tired.
that black figure kept appearing while i was typing away.
i took off my glasses,
and then,
the culprit of the black figure was found.
an ant was crawling on my glasses.
-.-
stupid ant.
-
-
-
to end,
lee xin yi i'm so happy for you! ♥

pineapple tarts

2010-02-10T23:19:00.006+08:00

brief update.

my mum says i look like a kid here.
tiffany laopo got a shock too.
hahaha.

hahaha.
he stuffed jelly into his mouth.
-
-
-
okay,
chinese new year is coming.
totally not looking forward to it.
mum made pineapple tarts for our relatives on sunday.
tingy and i helped out.
mum did the dough,
tingy and i rolled the pineapple paste into balls.
we were so sick and tired of it that we started laughing and having dumb conversations.

tingy : Jie, it's quite dumb to have to say happy new year to everyone at granny's house right? i mean, we have to keep shaking everyone's hands and repeating the same words right?

me: *rolling the pineapple paste* uh huh, why?

tingy : i think we should just bring a loudspeaker and announce 'happy new year' once and for all. save time and effort.

me : *stop rolling and burst out laughing*

tingy : *stop rolling and burst out laughing too*

me : like that then imagine if everybody bring loudspeaker, wah, chaos leh.

tingy : *laugh even louder.*

mum : oie! the 2 of you, better concentrate on your pineapples hor!
-
-
-
me : talking rubbish and laughing like a lunatic.

tingy : crazy girl.

me: tingy, i think i woke up from the wrong side of my bed today.

tingy : yea, wrong side plus upside down.

me : laugh even more.
-
-
-
after rolling for what seemed like years,
i decided to help mum to vacumm and mop the floor.
when the house is squeaky clean,
-
-
me: mummy, you see i so guai (obedient) , you should reward me mann.

mum : hmm. ya what, i reward you mah. i bake one container of pineapple tarts for your BOYFRIEND leh.

me : dumbfounded. mum! that's not rewarding ME what. you're benefiting him, not ME.

mum : aiyah, same lah.

me : -.-
-
-
-
-
as you can see,
baking pineapple tarts can be quite rewarding when you have huge entertainment sources.
:D
-
-
-
monday
PEC lecture.
caught hachiko with baby dee after school.
great movie.
lots of sniffing heard in the theatre.
but not me.
baby dee wanted a dog even more after the movie.
but oh well.
make do with hamsters okay?
(:
he sent me home before going off to climb.
-
-
-
tuesday.
chn lecture at 9am,
i woke up at 9am.
gave school a miss.
baby accompanied me for lunch during his break.
he went off to school.
tingy came home,
we went off to deliver mum's pineapple tarts to our fellow relatives.
granny's place for dinner after that.
homed.
-
-
-
today.
was sleeping so soundly when i woke up and picked up a call.
freaky thing is,
my phone was on silent mode,
without the vibration.
but i picked up the call when baby called.
intuition, i guess.
lunch and off to school i went.
IT lesson was disastrous.
all of us were so screwed with the dreamweaver and flash project.
regret skipping classes now.
emm and i were figuring out how to link this and that,
but,
failed miserably.
xinyi and CS were trying to make their animations move.
succeed a little.
oh noooooooooo.
):
dinnered with laopo in school.
went off for frozen yogurt at bugis.
JCO's frozen yogurt, thumbs up!
homed after that.
told mummy what's been bothering me these days.
felt alot better.
-
-
tomorrow.
bobby's gonna meet me,
and save me from the evil clutches of dreamweaver.
yay.
:D

math corner!

2010-02-06T12:12:00.006+08:00

did my math corner in the centre!
drew cupcakes and candies and whatevernots.
thanks tingie and baby dee for helping me with the cutting!

p.s
i drew it,
not photocopied!
everyone who saw it thought it was photocopied.
):

this little boy tried to block my view while taking the picture!

-
-
-
-
and,
fabulous ellene uploaded our sec 2 pictures on facebook........
-
-

DNT teacher was demonstrating how to do the twinkle twinkle punishment.
i had to do it because i didn't bring my workbook.
we had to do 100 or 200 of it i think.
-
and.....

seriously la.
like small kid sia!
omg.
how did i ever grow from that.
-
-
-
going off to vivo for shopping with mum and sis now!
and before i leave,
omg.
baby please don't kill me.
:D
i know you won't.
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-
-
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-
-
-
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-
-
-
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-
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-
-
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okay, here goes!
-
-
-
-
-

HAHAHA!
my boyfriend, sec 2!

Animal picture book

2010-02-01T14:11:00.003+08:00

my animal picture book!

okay,
it's supposed to pop out.
but somehow,
failed miserably.
-
-
-
brief update.
wednesday.
attachment,
this little girl kept sticking to me throughout the day.
she wasn't from my class,
so she kept following me everywhere i go.
she waited for me outside the toilet while i was inside.
cute or what?
then she started crying and i carried her,
and she conveniently drooled on my hair.
omg.
suicidal thoughts please.
KE,
dinner at cheers,
and cabbed home with cousin and fryderyk.
-
-
-
thursday
i can't remember what happened.
-
-
-
friday
work till closing.
-
-
-
saturday
did opening till 4pm.
homed,
prepared,
and met up with sec school mates.
vernon and ivan going NS soon.
hahaha.
caught up with each other during dinner,
movie,
went to drink.
the guys spilled their love-sorrows out.
kinda entertaining.
dee kept 'encouraging' me to drink.
ended up quite high after that.
homed near 4am.
-
-
-
sunday.
woke up with a buzzing headache.
but it didn't stay too long.
lunch with tingy,
homed and did my learning corner activities.
nearly went mad.
thank goodness for tingy and dee's help.
otherwise i wouldn't be able to complete.
-
-
-
today.
attachment,
did my corner and conducted my lesson.
the little girl followed me everywhere i went again.
this time,
my mentor had to drag her out of the classroom because she refused to leave me,
and i needed to implement my lesson.
felt so sorry for her,
but,
oh well.
i'm going to school now.
:/
reluctant to the max.
):

seriously, fuck it.

2010-01-26T23:19:00.003+08:00

seriously right,
life sucks.
life sucks because school sucks.
seriously luh.
Monday,
the first lesson,
the damn lecturer was being so fucked up.
i mean,
i agree that our work isn't as great as the other groups lah.
so?
you can't just simply pick on us and vent your anger k.
this stupid lecturer made it sound like we totally didn't put in ANY effort to do the damn thing.
oh please.
if we didn't,
we wouldn't even be able to stand in front of the class to present okay.
god damn it,
we even wore nicer clothes because of the presentation!
(i mean, partly because it's runway day for us)
BUT STILL,
we bothered to dress up.
so what if we're reading from the slides?
i DID elaborate on my parts okay.
i gave examples and explained.
i don't see why she has the reason to say such things about us.
just bloody say so if you don't like us.
just SAY IT.
and what?
we put you off because we're the first group to present and we're late?
for god's sake.
we have lots of classmates who came even later than us.
and obviously you wouldn't want us to start without the others in the class right?
please.
it's a monday,
there is bound to be traffic jams okay.
you're blaming us for what others did?
fuck off seriously.
to us, you said:
"so what if you show me statistics?"

to the others who did not put statistics, you said:
"it would be good if you include statistics"

see the fucking difference?
damn it.
AND,
you people as lecturers,
taught us not to humiliate children if they did something wrong.
and never ever scold them in front of their peers.
then what the hell were you doing?
you made us stand there in front of the class for 10 fucking minutes just to pick on our faults?
do you think you really deserve to be a lecturer?
you are not even practicing what you preach.
what is this mann?

WHY?
because they fucking think that we don't give a damn about school.
it's not that.
it's just that we don't put in the EXTRA effort that others did.
we're just being NORMAL.
not EXTRAORDINARY.
get it?
and what's wrong with that?
we're not fighting for the places in the director's list you know.
we don't wanna possess any source of threat to the others.
shouldn't you lecturers be happy about not having extra work to do?
seriously just fuck off.
my hatred for school is escalating.
no wait,
it's sky high already!
ARGH.
-
-
-
-
on a happier note,
i sort of completed my picture book.
another assignment down.
-
-
-
gave school a miss today.
wasn't feeling too well.
went to swim in the evening and baby met me at the entrance of the swimming complex.
had dinner,
he was feeling fucked up too.
sweetheart,
cheer up.

picture taken 2 nights ago.
he claimed that he wanted to kiss me.
but it's not true.
he just doesn't want to take a picture.
):

-
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-

runway day,
xinyi and i.
we wore this for presentation.
please bear with my messy post.
the whole sequence is wrong and i seriously can't be bothered to do anything about it.
-
-
-
OH NO.
i'm going insane.
how i wish i have a drumset with me.
i will whack with all my might and make a din.
-
-
-
and omg,
my guitar string snapped.
ARGH.
cousin,
please fix it for me!
-
-
-
i feel like practising beethoven's pathetique sonata now.
i want my arm to ache so badly that i will stop due to exhaustion.
i feel like banging my piano now.
-
-
-
i feel like drinking to get drunk.
i feel like smoking to calm down
i feel like clubbing to get high.
-
-
-
but all of the above,
can't be done NOW.
oh my,
life sucks.
-
-
-
attachment tmr.
i hope my voice is so hoarse that i can't talk to the kids.
which means that i don't have to entertain them.
and it means that i do not have to implement my lesson.
thumbs up for that thought!
-
-
-
okay.
i need to go back to my assignments now.
enough of ranting for the moment.
i hope i have better things to blog about tmr!

borrow, return, take double.

2010-01-24T23:38:00.002+08:00

this is going to be an unpleasant post.
-
-
-
seriously wtf la.
you as an adult,
you should know your bloody responsibilities.
it's alright if you don't contribute.
just don't be such a scumbag.
i've said it before,
i love you,
but i don't bloody respect you.
your presence caused us heaps of inconvenience.
but we can't do anything about it.
i don't hate you.
i can't do it.
so stop taking advantage of that fact to get your way around.
i can't be like tingy.
i can't do what she did.
never before in my life have i seen her behaving the way she did today.
don't you think it's a cause for concern?
the way she ignored you,
the face she displayed throughout.
doesn't it ring a bell?
shouldn't you just start reflecting on what you're doing?
why is your skin so thick?
and why can't i inherite your genes of being thick skinned?
so that i can counter your thick skin-ness.
why oh why must i have mum's genes of being soft hearted?
why, damn it.
why?
i can't even eat a damn meal in peace.
imagine that.
tingy and i can't even go down to coffeeshop and eat together.
imagine that.
seriously what kind of nonsense is this.
mummy is no longer your wife.
you shouldn't even be staying with us.
i hate it when people come and tell me how bloody fortunate i am to be staying with my parents.
fuck off okay.
it's totally not that way.
you people just don't understand.
so stop pretending and acting like you do.
and stop saying that we, as children, should not be affected over adult's problems.
just shut the fuck up.
so what if you're my auntys or uncles and you're trying to be encouraging?
fuck off.
you're totally not helping at all.
you don't even know what's happening.
you don't even know what's that pest doing to tingy and i.
even my mum doesn't know.
so seriously,
keep your comments to yourself.
because you only make me so horribly mad that i wanna rip your skin off your face.
it's really a disgrace to even talk about this.
i find it hard to even confide in my closest friends.
it's too embarrassing to even tell anyone about it in detail.
bottling this up is killing me.
i really feel miserable.
to think that i have to learn how to handle different kinds of family situations on my own.
screw it.
i can't even help myself.
the school should teach us how to help ourselves first.
or perhaps,
to qualify as an early childhood educator,
you need to have a good family background.
it's true.
otherwise kids will just suffer.
i wanted to talk to someone so badly just now.
but now,
i don't even feel like talking to anyone.
because,
nobody is ever going to understand.
friends around can only encourage.
they can only give advice.
but in the end,
it's not easy to even carry out the advices.
i hope tingy is awake now.
because if she is,
she'll be the best person to console me now.
i doubt she'll even cry with me.
today's incident made me realise that she's no longer that small little sister i always thought she was.
i'm wrong.
she's all grown up now.
she's even tougher than me in terms of emotions.
to all who even bother to read this,
please, for goodness sake.
don't jump into conclusions.
don't give any redundant comments either.
and most importantly,
don't even try to act like you understand and know what's happening when you don't.

fellow ostriches

2010-01-23T12:23:00.003+08:00

Gosh
my dad nearly threw this drawing away.
tsk.

-
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and so,
the weekends are FINALLY here.
thank goodness work's out for me this weekend.
have lots of school work to catch up!
i shall start on the animal picture book later.
i shall,
i must,
and i will.
-
-
school has been so much better with these girls.
which also means,
my fellow ostriches.

emm, me, xinyi, cs
-
-
-
they are friends who really made school a whole lot better for me.
(:
we're gonna wear the clothes that we bought online on monday!
AND,
there will be no more tutorials on friday.
which means,
no more classes for me on thurs and fri!
hahahahahahaha.
-
-
-
really looking forward for the holidays.
1. pending genting trip with CS and emm and hopefully xinyi.
2. butter factory with CS
3. powerhouse with laopo.
4. dee promised to club with me.
5.club with coussie charmaine.
6. work with tanjinmay, hopefully. :D
7. meet up with adeline neo!
8. bring adeline neo to club after 29th march.
9. KE outing/ chalet.
10.hunt for a cake for beryl low wei ting.
11. wild wild wet weekly routine with dee?
12. miss u cafe for post-valentines celebration!
13. meet up with sec school friends before vernon and ivan goes botak!
14. stayovers again?
15. and the list goes on.
-
-
-
oh yes.
coussie and i are up to something exciting tomorrow.
can't wait can't wait!
:D
will blog about it if it's successful.
-
-
-
and,
today is the 23rd.
which means,
it's our 51th month anniversary.
which also means 4 years and 3 months.
yes cousin,
don't get a shock.
it's true.
:D

and anyway,
we were listening to bad romance by lady gaga.
because i'm obsessed with that song.
and,
i forced him to listen to it with me.
and he finally got so extremely irritated,
he switched it to the radio.
and guess what song came out?
BAD ROMANCE.
:D
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i'm in an extremely positive mood today.
lalala~

another week

2010-01-21T16:18:00.001+08:00

projects and assignments are such a handful.
this is what i've done for PEC's brochure.
heh.

combined tux paint, with paint, and photoshop.
took me an hour.
but,
i like it.
:D
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and so,
i had work on sunday.
did opening at iluma.
oh yes.
there's this flavour,
called kahlua.
it's coffee liquor actually.
and when i tried it,
i swear,
i was in agony.
it tastes like,
okay.
nevermind.
i shall not describe.
but as far as i know,
nobody in berrylite likes it.
hahaha.
some of the customers requested to try it.
and they will display their oh-so-classic-face.
and we have to suppress our laughter when we look at their faces.
and anyway,
i met an extremely fucked up customer.
she bought a few cups of yogurt and only one of it has topping.
so we only gave her one stamp for the card.
and then she come and make noise and say that it's ridiculous and blah blah blah.
and she THREW THE CARD BACK AT ME.
i was stunned can.
felt like throwing it back to her.
-.-
-
-
-
-
Monday
school as usual.
lessons as usual.
the highlight of the day was when we shopped online.
initially,
CS and i wanted to get 5 tops/dresses so that it's cheaper.
and then,
she realised that if you purchase 10 tops/dresses,
there will be free registered mail.
so we tried to psycho xinyi and emm to get another 5 tops.
heh.
so all in all,
xinyi bought 4,
cs bought 3,
i bought 2,
and emm bought 1.
total : 10
means,
free registered mail.
heh.
KE as usual.
frozen yogurt with laopo and fryderyk at tamp one.
homed after that.
-
-
-
Tuesday
school as usual,
lessons as usual,
waste time in class playing games as usual,
finished up brochure during break.
homed after that.
-
-
-
Wednesday
had attachment,
reached the centre at 9.30am.
super late i know.
baby accompanied me for lunch after that.
went home to change,
he sent me to the MRT station to take train to school.
IT lesson,
late for lesson.
but who cares.
KE after that.
dinner with winson and laopo.
winson was such a gentleman.
took the last 151,
and changed to the last bus 5,
and changed to the last 21 home.
-
-
-
Today.
baby dee woke me up as usual.
he went off to school after that.
i was craving for mac spicy.
went out to buy.
couldn't finish it as it was too spicy for me.
now,
my throat hurts even more than it initially was.
EA essay to be completed.
argh.
hate school.
):
and CS told us that our clothes that we ordered on monday has arrived.
yayness.
:D

laopo (:

2010-01-20T16:37:00.003+08:00

i'm currently rotting away in IT class doing adobe flash.
it's damn boring,
partly because i've got no idea how to do the exercises.
and dear laopo bought chocolate oreo and delivered it to class for me.
LOVE LAOPO MANY MANY.
<3>

moody monday

2010-01-19T00:32:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling really really down now.
like extremely down.
sometimes life just gets too exhausting.
every single moment of the day drags on.
and to top it off,
it's only the start of the week.
school is hectic.
cca is a bother.
family is a wreckage.
though certain parts of my day is brightened up,
life still sucks.
-
-
-
and,
i've just experienced the true meaning of somebody being a two headed snake.
she appears to be all nice and sweet.
but in actual fact,
she scares me quite a bit.
she scolded someone,
for an issue related to me,
and immediately after scolding that person,
she replied my sms in a happy tone.
tsk.
scary isn't it?
it's instant,
i swear.
-
-
-
and,
i'm really shocked to know that my club members are terrified of me.
really appalled when i heard about it.
i don't see what's so scary about me.
i often go hopping and jumping and singing around like some mad women.
no doubt,
when it comes to serious business,
i do make sure i get things done the way it's suppose to be.
but to hear of people being really terrified of me,
i didn't see it coming my way.
someone told me that i have an aura around me in KE.
and that makes my members shield themselves from me in defence.
i mean,
like duh?
i'm the president.
if i don't do it,
who will?
-
-
-
i've never wanted to be the president.
all i wanted,
is to be a member,
and to fulfil my duties within the club.
i didn't ask for the post.
i had to take it,
without a choice.
did i change because of that?
i'm definitely not aware of it.
i felt so lousy.
really really lousy.
-
-
-
i told baby dee that i'm feeling down.
he waited for me at the void deck of my house after his dinner.
and i told him what's bothering me.
he assured me that everything's okay.
laopo told me that too.
and i can,
only wish for the better.

sheer stupidity

2010-01-14T22:46:00.005+08:00

tags replied
Germaine: yayness. luckily not working with her this week!
tingy : hi piggy. i'm tearing down your super junior posters. soon.
xinyi : yes yes. we are normal. (:
crystal : oh sweetheart, this sucks. ):

to passerby.
hmm. there is only one word to describe your tag. and the word is, weird.
because, if i wanted to express my hatred for a particular person,
badmouthing that person on her friend's blog is definitely not a thing i would do.
so,
as you can see, so what if cheryl and i are not close anymore?
in any case, it is none of your business.
even if she has offended you in any way, there is nothing you can do about it.
you can't go up to her and say nasty things right? i doubt you have the guts to do so.
i reckon you're trying to make her friends dislike her by tagging?
you can try to psycho others, but attempting to do so on my tagboard is really not intelligent.
nevertheless, thanks for the compliment. (:
i know how to handle my friendships, and i don't think i need your advice or guidance.
thank you very much.
-
-
-
-
and so,
ever since school started,
it sucked.
every single day is spent doing assignments and projects.
let me show you one of my achievements.
for CHN project,
we had to do a board game.
i was in charge of doing the board.
so first,
i drew tiny little pictures.
and coloured them.
and outlined the edges in black.

and then,
i drew the background of the board.
not easy okay.
i had suicidal thoughts while completing it.

and tadah.
colour like mad okay.
and then,
the last step,
paste them on!

and this is,
the board of the board game.
done by yours truly.
-
-
-
-
Monday
lessons as per normal.
canteen 2 for lunch with cherng shing, emm and xinyi.
takeaway chicken rice and ate near the pool.
lecture,
ec tutorial,
and then KE.
dinner at Mos with laopo.
mos is my current addiction.
yum.
-
-
Tuesday
CHN presentation.
wore skirt to school for the first time i think?
mac with xinyi.
on the verge of going mad while walking back to school.
haha.
went to granny's place after class.
she cooked yummy food for me.
(:
missed coussie so much.
so glad to be able to meet her.
(:
bused and baby dee cycled me home.
hehe.
-
-
-
Wednesday
attachment, as usual.
was half an hour late,
but who gives a shit.
kids were having spilt personality again.
sweethearts a moment and devils another.
was so unwilling to go for IT after attachment.
but still,
i dragged myself to school.
had strawberry yogurt in class while having lesson.
a big mistake because it was freezing cold in the classroom.
KE after class.
train homed with laopo.
and something extremely awkward happened.
i saw my sec school band junior on the train (he used to like me),
he was nice enough to come over and say hi.
laopo alighted at redhill.
when she alighted,
his friends joined us.
so it was quite awkward throughout the whole journey.
especially when the topic of him giving me roses and a card on valentines came up.
so it was awkward to the max.
and the conversation grew weirder,
( from redhill to tampines is quite a journey)
and he alighted with his friend at bedok.
and then,
the stupid me,
wanted to msg laopo that he has alighted because the situation was so awkward.
and i really hate awkward situations.
and then,
i sent that message to him without even knowing it.
the message went like this :
'omg. he just alighted. awkward to the maximum. phew'
-
-
and he replied :
'yea, even more awkward now because you sent wrongly.'
-
-
i stared at my phone for 10 seconds.
-
-
if this is not stupid,
i don't know what is.
and i feel terribly guilty.
i don't mean that our 'chance meeting' was bad.
i felt relieved because i dislike awkward situations.
i seriously feel so bad.
i hope he didn't interprete that msg as something which is worse than what it sounds like.
ugh.
just kill me.
dear _ _ _,
please forgive me and my stupidity.
didn't mean to hurt you in any way!
homed,
and i was so tired due to the extreme lack of sleep.
-
-
-
Today.
was sleeping so soundly that i didn't even know baby dee was within my home premises.
was sleeping so soundly that i didn't even know he came into my room and used the toilet.
i only woke up when he tapped me (i think),
and my eyes sprang open because i didn't know if i was sleeping unglamly!
and that was around 9am in the morning.
he left for school at 10.30.
so nice of him to come over right. (:
and then i went back to sleep.
cherng shing's msg woke me up at 11.47.
i was suppose to meet them at 1pm,
somerset mrt station.
jumped up and prepared.
trained,
and i was around 10 minutes late.
but i was the earliest there.
tsk.
girls,
and what's with the person who is late has to treat us lunch?
walked around with CS while waiting for xinyi.
xinyi arrived at 2 plus.
well done xinyi,
still can tell me you sleep until so shiok!
HAHA
CS brought us to this wanton mee shop.
super yummy.
had our lunch,
and we finally settled down at starbucks around 2.45pm.
started EC and SF essay from scratch.
completed both in 3 and a half hours time.
all of us were extremely impressed with ourselves.
and so,
two huge boulders off our shoulders.
happy.
-
-
and now,
it's sleeping time.
goodnight everyone.
-
-
-
emm, i hope you're okay. (:

just realised.

2010-01-09T22:31:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling like some emo shit now.

1. school is starting in two days time and i am willing to trade anything to change that fact.

2. i have heaps of assignments and projects that i have yet to complete.

3. there is nothing for me to look forward to in school.

4. i have yet to find a succesor to take over my presidential post in KE.

and that sucks

5. i can't stand getting irritated everyday and every moment.

6. i don't like it when i don't have close girlfriends in class.

7. i don't want to feel like a pathetic loner trapped in a bubble in school.

8. i don't want to feel like i'm in my own world.

9. i don't want to wake up early and queue up for the shuttle bus to school.

10. i don't fancy going home with the working crowd during peek hours.

11. i absolutely abhore getting onto bus 5 when it's full of foreign workers.

i don't mean to be a fucking racist,

but these group of people are just too disgusting to even be within one metre of contact.

12. i find that school is a complete toad and it's a total waste of time.

13. i don't wish to have a secured nanny diploma.

14. i dislike feeling helpless without any source of comfort anywhere in school.

15. i hate knowing that my baby dee is far away in the east while i'm in the west.

16. i hate to eat lunch in school because makan place will be fucking crowded and by the time we find a seat, and buy our food, lesson starts.

17. i hate presenting group projects because i find it absolutely meaningless.

18. i hate thinking of clothes to wear to school.

19. i detest trying to remember what i've wore a few days before in order not to repeat the same clothes in a week.

20. and the list goes on until the cows come home.

and,

i have just came to realise that,

i am pathetic.

while others have groups and cliques of girlfriends,

i have none.

while others have girlfriends that take stupid pictures and bake inedible cakes,

i have none.

while others have girlfriends who they can really trust,

i have none.

basically,

my life revolves around my boyfriend,

it revolves around my obsession with beethoven sonatas,

it revolves around my family,

and probably revolves around work.

besides that,

nothing much.

to end,

i miss Charmaine Low Pei Jun.

i miss stayovers and late night junks from 7eleven.

miss squeezing in the top of the double decker bed.

i miss Adeline Neo.

miss gossiping at places.

miss ranting and heartfelt talks.

right from the moment we first met,

i knew that she will be someone special to me.

and she is.

and that's about it.

Good to be Eighteen

2010-01-08T21:25:00.005+08:00

tags replied:

Ghost: don't emo leh! ):

Tiffany: love you too laopo. (:

Charmaine: i miss you too coussie. stayover when when. ):

Germaine: i'm not a stalker okay! hahaha. :P

Crystal: hehe. hope to see you soon. (:

JM: tan jinmay! laugh what laugh? love you lah. (:

Allie: hello dear allie! (:

wednesday.

had attachment as usual.

the kids were adorable yet annoying.

baby dee came to pick me up at the centre.

so sweet when he claim that he's not coming.

had vermicelli for lunch.

yum.

dee left while tingy came,

had popeyes.

supper fattening can.

went off to school for KE.

after KE,

laopo and i had ramen,

and then we went off to powerhouse.

laopo's first time clubbing.

i brought her there.

it was just the two of us.

hehehe.

and so,

we made our way to vivo.

and then to powerhouse.

it was ladies night.

i ordered a jug of whiskey and cola for us.

while waiting for our order,

this guy came and talk to us as his friends went to the toilet.

and when his friends came back,

one of his girl friends is laopo's sec schoolmate.

such a small world.

shared drinks,

and i wasn't high at all after drinking. ):

no fun.

anyway,

made our way down to the dancefloor.

laopo's friend pulled us up the stage.

music was good,

crowd was good.

this guy who is alot shorter than me came to dance with me.

totally put off can.

-.-

went back to drink,

and we fought for our lives to make it to the toilet.

it's really very crowded.

back,

and continue dancing.

left the club around 3 plus.

supper at boat quay with laopo and 2 other girls,

went to a pub,

and stoned there till morning.

all in all,
i had fun.
hope laopo enjoyed.
(:
-
-
-
cabbed to laopo's place at 6am.
bathed and slept.
we were so tired.
laopo's dog,
stephi,
came and slept on top of my leg.
it was so ticklish and i couldn't move.

laopo says that stephi don't usually allow strangers to touch her.

but she actually slept with me.

hehe
woke up after 2 hours,
i was in zombie mode can.
-.-
cabbed to school,
and the both of us had to move the keyboard, keyboard stand,
and many other heavy things down to the atrium.
it's extremely far,
and extremely heavy.
we seriously couldn't manage.
then,
this group of cleaners saw us,
and this handicapped cleaner came and help us.
he simply walked over and lifted the keyboard.
feeling so helpless the whole morning,
i felt so touched at that moment that i nearly cried.
made our way to the atrium,
and then set the booth up.
performance,
and then we left early.
i was so tired that i slept when i reached home.
woke up for dinner,
tv,
and then continue sleeping.
today,
woke up in the afternoon..
felt like crap.
wasted the day at home doing e-learing assignments.
school sucks.
baby bought bubble tea for me when i was craving for it.
and he came over to give it to me despite the rain.
so sweet.
(:
oh well.
work tomorrow at parkway. ):
sigh.
i prefer working at iluma. ):
9.30am to 7pm.
omg.
i hope i survive the day.
goodnight everyone,
chn project,
here i come. ):

common enemy.

2010-01-03T21:45:00.003+08:00

okay.

ever since dee came back from his trip,

i've magically stopped blogging!

my dearest laopo bought me the DKNY perfume that i really really wanted,

but i couldn't bear to buy it for myself.

she's such a sweetheart!

thanks laopo!

love you many many!

time is mostly spent on working.

hehe.

looking forward to my next pay!

gossping is the best way to kill time during work.

since there's a common topic to gossip about now.

i've never felt so irritated with someone before.

she made me reflect on myself,

and think if i'm as irritating as her.

tsk.

and anyway,

i had the most awesome night last night!

stayover at Jia min's house with Jinmay, Ellene, and Jiamin.

it was absolutely girlish.

shall post pictures when i get it from tan jinmay!

yesterday made me reflect alot.

i realised that i lost all my close girlfriends.

maybe it's time to get them back.

<3

2009-12-28T14:09:00.003+08:00

Christmas was spent with baby.

he bought me Ripcurl slippers and a tank top.

hehe.

he bought a pair of slippers for himself too.

he said Dennis bought the same thing for himself and Cheryl after he bought ours.

haha.

so funny.

bused to e!hub.

we caught 2 movies,

sherlock holmes and alvin and the chipmunks 2.

had burger king before sherlock holmes,

and vermicelli before alvin and the chipmunks.

homed after that,

and he escorted his present home.

heh.

Saturday.

work at iluma,

opening alone again.

met baby after that,

then we headed to marina square to meet our sec schoolmates.

a small little gathering,

dinner, movie.

ivan and vernon went off to club.

khair, ellene, baby and i went to arab street.

drank beer and played cards,

i became abit high.

but it weared off after awhile.

night rider home.

yesterday.

work at iluma,

closing with caleb.

it was his last day.

bus 23 home,

talked and laughed alot.

baby picked me up at my house bus stop.

hehehe.

talked for a little while below my house,

talked about work,

and then homed.

today,

baby had class in the morning,

he came over after his lesson,

and i was still sleeping.

lunch with him, tingy and daddy.

vermicelli for me again.

and now he's off in school doing project.

poor baby,

so reluctant to go to school.

KE later.

problems are piling up the cart.

candy canes

2009-12-25T12:36:00.003+08:00

oh yes,

on wednesday,

it was our 50th month anniversary.

heh

okay random.

yesterday.

had work in the morning.

was late because of the heavy rain!

and then,

when i reached the shop in iluma,

there were many many candy canes stuck on the pole.

each of them with a note for every one of us.

Dear Allie put it up on the pole for us.

it was such a heartwarming sight.

and i was surprised to find my name there too.

hehehe.
as
usual,
work was boring,
spent 4 hours talking to vanessa.
talked alot,
crapped alot,
and bitched alot.
talked about bastard-y guys,
and useless guys,
and the list went on.
she gave me a blueberry flavoured candy cane.
:D
Liza came in after that.
suppose to end work at 4pm,
but was extended because it was quite busy.
Liza was troubled.
:/
poor thing.
and so,
i left at 6pm when Jervic came.
bused to 201.
went to the pet shop and bought baby's christmas presents.
and i bought.....

yup!
it's a hamster.
okay.
i bought 2 of it,
a cage,
food,
the water thing,
bathing powder,
food holders,
and yup.
didn't get the sawdust as i couldn't manage.
it was too heavy!
homed and mummy prepared a special christmas dinner!

we had black pepper chicken,
tuna,
buttered toast,
chips,
mushroom potage cream soup,
and salad!
hehehe.
i had such a hearty meal,
and i felt so happy to be at home.
it definitely beats squeezing with the crowd somewhere out in town.
hehehe.
played with the hamsters for a while,
but they were extremely shy.
oh well.
shall give them some time to adapt.
suppose to have met baby already.
but it's postponed to 3pm later.
okays.
merry christmas to all!
have an enjoyable christmas with your loved ones.
(:

i adore old people

2009-12-24T00:30:00.008+08:00

i succesfully started the shop by myself today.

had a huge sense of accomplishment.

this old lady came by,

she ordered peppermint tea.

she asked me to open the packet of sugar for her.

after that,

she asked me to pour honey into her cup of tea for her.

when i was doing my stuff,

she kept knocking on the wall to get my attention.

and i went over,

she told me that she wanted waffle with lots of chocolate gravy. (fudge)

so i did the waffle for her.

and while waiting for the waffle,

she banged the wall again to get my attention.

and so,

i went over again.

she told me that she only wanted half of the waffle,

and she would like me to have the other half.

i thought it was quite heartwarming.

hence,

i cut the waffle into half,

and topped it with chocolate sauce.

then i served it to her.

by then,

the shop was filled with people who wanted to buy yogurt.

i was taking their orders when she started to bang the wall again.

this time,

she asked for a small plate as she decided that she cannot finish her waffle.

so she cut it into half and she gave it to me.

which means,

she gave me three quarters of her waffle.

and then,

she sat there while i did my stuff,

and she constantly banged the wall to get my attention.

she asked for napkins,

water,

spoons,

and ice.

before she left,

she gave me a curry puff from coffeebean.

and she smiled at me,

and said that i was a dear.

i like old people.

they make me happy.

and after that,

the yogurt machine started to produce screeching sounds,

and the yogurt couldn't come out.

after turning it off for a while,

it started to work again.

weird.

laopo came over to look for me.

i realised that i forgot to bring keys for cca.

-.-

daddy brought us home to get it.

so nice of him.

my dad rocks sometimes.

laopo helped me to do the recording for IT presentation.

then off we went to school.

still having a HUGE headache over the selection of the new committee.

we found out that nobody is suitable to be the president.

nobody is suitable to take over my role.

i was telling my comm that i should perhaps stay for another year.

which means,

i would have been the president for three years,

throughout my poly life.

-.-

don't i deserve that colours award or something?

tsk.

i've never felt good about leading the club.

i didn't know why i was chosen.

it is so difficult to choose someone to take over me.

i wondered if my seniors had a hard time choosing me.

but today,

my lovely committee members assured me that i did a good job.

and that,

perhaps,

makes me feel a whole lot better about myself.

i'm doing opening with vanessa the big bird fan tomorrow.

and it's at iluma.

hehehe.

i prefer working at iluma.

oh well.

baby's coming back in 28 hours.

hehehe.

i'm gonna get his christmas present tomorrow.

laopo knows what it is.

hehehe.

okay.

i'm going off to sleep now.

cherng shing, xinyi, emm,

sentosa yes no?

christmas hats

2009-12-22T22:05:00.005+08:00

Saturday

work at iluma.

penny and i were observing people who were wearing christmas hats.

i think we all should wear christmas hats too.

it's so adorable.

and then,

we realised that the people at the ground level were giving out the hats for free.

but we have to put our name for some record breaking thing.

and so,

all of us got it.

and we wore it.

heh.

asked laopo to come over to iluma,

so that we can get the hats to wear for our performance the next day.

and she did.

penny and i did paper christmas hats.

mine is the orangy one on top.

somehow,

i cannot rotate the picture.

so yah.

and then,

homed.

waited for baby to come back from bali.

was looking at the flight arrival menu on teletext.

after that,

he was such a sweetheart,

he came over to my place to meet me at 3am.

talked about our days,

and then he left near 5am,

to go to dennis place.

he was going to leave for KL with his climbing mates.

and so,

the poor me is going to be left here for 5 more days.

slept at 5.30am,

woke up at 8.30am.

jumped up in shock as i'm suppose to meet laopo for breakfast at 9.30am!

prepared and had long john breakfast,

waited for fryderyk at dover mrt.

practiced for our christmas performance at night.

it was a sucky sunday.

things went really wrong.

but at the end of the performance,

everything was fine.

took pictures with the lightings and trees.

saw evelyn with her boyfriend but i didn't recognise her because of her hair!

wanted to take a picture with her but she went off already.

why you walk so fast.

shared gelato with laopo,

and then back to school.

and that concludes the day.

another picture that i failed to rotate

-.-

super annoying.

Monday

mummy was sick.

cooked porridge and noodles before leaving the house.

went to school for project.

project work is a nuisance,

totally.

did the project using my laptop,

thus i left my laptop with my project mates when i needed to leave for cca.

at the end of cca,

project was not yet completed.

had to stay till 10.45pm.

things went crazily wrong.

and i really had to go.

packed all my stuff,

and i actually left without my laptop.

i must be the world's stupidest fool.

-.-

cabbed.

and anyway,

it was just a terribly disasterous day.

shall not talk about it anymore.

and today,

tingy went with me to bishan to collect my laptop from chantel.

thanks chantel for your help.

had pizza hut with tingy,

walked around junction 8.

took bus back,

and then,

had dinner at coffeeshop with daddy and tingy.

he ordered tiger beer and sprite.

and he mixed it for us in our cups.

it was surprisingly nice.

ordered loads of nice food.

and homed.

baby's having a good time shopping in KL today.

he msged me and told me that his legs are tired from shopping.

-.-

so lousy lor.

and he's going pubbing with his friends today.

and clubbing with them tomorrow.

hehehe.

excited for him.

i totally can't imagine him clubbing!

ah well.

working tomorrow.

will be doing opening by myself in parkway.

nervous and excited.

heh.

i hope i can successfully start the shop.

oh well.

goodnight everyone.

it's day four

2009-12-18T23:06:00.008+08:00

island creamery with cherng shing <3

and so,

it's friday.

work at iluma in the morning.

opening with vanessa.

there was a weird smell throughout the morning,

we couldn't detect the source.

after awhile,

we realised that the strawberry yogurt machine is unable to freeze the yogurt.

then,

vanessa turned it off for a while.

and after that,

she turned it on,

and smoke started to come out of the machine.

it was quite funny!

she called Rey,

and apparently he laughed at it too.

then,

there literally wasn't anything to do.

so we took turns to cut fruits.

talked alot,

and bitched alot, too.

liza came in at 2,

she's so adorable and bubbly.

talking to her makes me feel happy.

haha!

mummy and tingy came to look for me after that.

walked around and then,

steamboat!

homed after that.

i found one of baby's shirt at home.

so super happy to find it.

because.....................

it has his smell!

i'm not a sicko okay!

heh.

then i messaged him and told him about his shirt.

and he laughed!

then he told me that he's sunburnt.

poor baby.

but i'll still love you.

heh.

work at iluma again tomorrow.

oh yes.

and emmeline,

thanks! <3

Day two and three

2009-12-17T15:34:00.004+08:00

Yesterday

had attachment in the morning.

kids were adorable yet a nuisance.

had vermicelli for lunch.

i can eat that every single day.

went home and started doing housework.

started by washing clothes,

keeping clothes,

folding clothes,

packing my cupboard,

and then i packed my piano top,

packed my table top,

kept my sister's clothes,

vacuumed the floor,

mopped the floor,

and that was it.

felt so proud of myself after that.

mum bought mos burger back for dinner.

ate that plus a piece of ham and cheese toast.

played plants vs zombies and tv after that.

dropped baby a msg before sleeping.

and he replied!

i was smiling silly-ly at my phone.

heh.

today

was suppose to go swimming,

but it rained when i woke up.

so i went back to sleep till 1 in the afternoon.

lunch with tingy,

vermicelli again.

refilled printer ink,

tingy bought me oreo.<3

going to practice my piano now.

i'm blogging about my day,

so that you can see it when you come back.

i miss you.

Day One without you

2009-12-16T00:42:00.003+08:00

school holidays are finally here.

one whole month of holiday.

is that good or what?

spent the last week of school with cherng shing, xinyi and emmeline.

they are fun people to be with.

and i'm going to survive 11 days without my dearest him.

he's going to bali,

and then to KL with his climbing mates.

and the poor me will be here.

stuck here.

ah well.

Friday

school,

island creamery with cherng shing during break.

yummylicious.

back to school for tutorial,

the baby came to pick me up.

happy happy.

caught a movie,

a perfect getaway.

we thought it was some kind of romance film.

but it turned out to be a thriller.

baby whined.

so funny.

Saturday

met baby again.

he brought me to eat his favourite chicken rice.

caught another movie,

planet 51.

cute and funny.

he enjoyed it.

homed,

dinnered,

then met baby again for 2012.

nice nice show.

wanted to walk home,

and realised that we walked one big round for nothing.

cabbed home in the end.

Sunday.

work work work.

did i mention that i'm beginning to enjoy work?

homed for dinner,

then baby popped by to watch tv.

Monday

met baby in the morning before he goes off.

went bedok to eat.

followed him home to collect a stuff toy.

homed.

work after that,

posted to iluma this week.

fun fun fun.

i prefer working at iluma compared to parkway.

hee.

laopo came to find me.

yogurt at my shop,

the mint flavour is very nice.

pepper lunch,

shop,

bought the same top,

tried the clothes in the toilet,

laughed at the weirdness of it,

and homed.

Today

suppose to go to sentosa with cherng shing, xinyi and emm.

but but but.

nevermind.

next week!

ended up having bbq chicken with laopo and tingy,

novena to shop,

and then far east.

bought a new top.

happy happy.

laopo came to my house to practice a new piece.

another performance this sunday.

excited.

i want to post pictures but it's not working.

maybe tmr.

and cousin,

mama will be okay.

i really want to visit her.

and i've got a card for her.

drop me a msg when you're going.

i want to go, too.

i love you coussie.

when things just go wrong

2009-12-09T14:48:00.004+08:00

yesterday.

i went to look for the samsung camera service centre at jurong east during break alone.

i was told that the repair fees is going to cost at least 200 bucks.

so should i or should i not repair it?

i can get a new one with 200 bucks.

but,

it has sentimental value.

cherng shing accompanied me to eat before class.

bought something subconsciously for someone.

and decided to leave it at his doorstep.

then,

i do not wish to comment on anything else.

but thanks may and bobby for making me feel better.

so sorry to make you both worried when i cried.

today.

woke up with swollen eyes.

and my eyeliner is running out.

in class now.

attachment in the morning sucks.

the kids had a performance at St Lukes elderly care centre.

we were told to follow the kids.

i helped them to put on their make up.

after that,

we walked to the elderly care centre.

the teacher treated me like a maid.

i had to take the children to the toilet,

two by two.

so i brought like ten of them?

and that caused me to walk that same 'route' 5 times.

the kids didn't behave because they were excited to perform.

and when they made noise,

another teacher stared and hui hui and i.

implying that it's our fault that we can't keep them quiet.

please lor.

it's not even our responsibility okay.

after the kids performed,

the elders played a game.

they have to sit,

facing a partner.

and,

the partner was blindfolded.

so the game was,

to let the blindfolded elder feed the other one with a spoon.

and they are suppose to feed them milo ice-cream.

so super cute.

oh yes.

the elders wore very colourful glittery party hats.

it was so adorable.

after that,

they sang christmas songs.

i felt something tugging at my heartstrings,

because it was so heartwarming.

these old folks are so happy with such a simple little christmas celebration.

and they sang and clapped along with the music.

i couldn't help but to smile to myself.

when we wanted to go back to the centre,

the teacher told us to pack up and carry the props back.

they literally treated us like their maids la!

i was so pissed that i stomped off with a black face.

i heard the kids calling me,

but i ignored them.

frozen yogurt while waiting for haziyah.

and here i am in class.

the lecturer gave everyone time to do their projects.

but i've completed mine because my groupmates are off in vietnam.

so yah.

meeting laopo for dinner after class.

looking forward to it.

three days.

no explaination,

no apologies.

nothing.

so you expect things to go all right magically?

maybe i might lose some of my memory.

then things will be back to normal.

is that it?

you can pretend that nothing happened.

but i can't.

i just can't do it.

so?

what do you want?

we can continue this cold war forever.

i always feel lousy when i walk back from your place after leaving something at your doorstep.

because i always look back and you're never there.

and then,

you were there yesterday.

but?

did you even bother to attempt to clear things up?

you make it seem like everything is okay.

nothing happened.

so how can you expect me not to get pissed off?

if you think ignoring me for a few days to let me cool off is the best solution,

let me tell you now.

it's not.

it just shows that you don't understand me well enough.

you are capable of making me the happiest girl on earth.

but you are equally capable of making me feel the lousiest i've ever felt.

tears are shed.

smiles are fake.

why am i even typing all these out now?

you probably won't even read my blog.

forget it.

meant to

2009-12-06T22:48:00.006+08:00

and so,

i had a bad week.

i hate bossy people to the max.

i hate it when people boss me around.

especially when they don't have the right to do so.

LISTEN UP.

no one except my parents have the right to boss me around.

so who the hell are you?

and after a hectic week,

i swear that i officially hate project work.

individual work is the best,

because i don't have to bother about other people's opinions.

i don't have to live up to other people's expectations.

i can decide things for myself.

i can fail it if i want to.

i hate project work.

perhaps my EQ is not high enough to work with others.

maybe.

the only great part of the week was saturday.

cos we had a performance.

it was at tuas,

that keppel marine thingy had an opening ceremony for the oil rig.

something like that.

and yes.

it was pretty grand.

the food served ain't packed rice.

we get to eat with the invited guests.

wine and beer and cold rock smoothie were served.

salmon, salad chicken, shephard's pie and different sorts of pasta were served too.

and of course,

yummy, pretty little cakes for desserts.

performance went well.

i was being so uptight about things going wrong that i brough 4 pedals along in case.

and yup.

many thanks to the dears who could make it.

otherwise i would be skinned alive by SDAR.

most of my members couldn't make it.

so,

the 5 of us,

filled up a one hour slot.

i love my members.

they are such a joy to have.

some lecturers from np were there too.
they praised us.
and i felt so honoured to be the president of the club.
really.
i just realised that it's these kind of sense of achievement that motivates me to carry on.
i will be a better president.
i will bring the club up to a higher level.
-
-
-
after that,
lynette, fryderyk, laopo and i went to tiong bahru.
stoned at mos burger for a long time.
talking, laughing,
making fun of fryderyk.
discussing bgr issues.
time flew pass.
and soon,
it was time to go.
frozen yogurt to end of,
and,

laopo,

i love you!

maybe i'm not the right one for you.

maybe

strangers

2009-12-01T09:15:00.003+08:00

i've been meeting very nice strangers these days.

i left my laptop at kfc.

and walked off till somewhere else.

then a couple came up to my laopo and i,

holding my laptop.

for a moment we thought they were asking for directions

but they actually wanted to return my laptop to me.

another day,

laopo and i went to mos burger for dinner.

this very nice uncle came up to us and talked alot.

he then gave us 2 burgers to bring home.

yesterday,

after dinner with laopo,

i took the train home.

there were 4 people who came into the train.

on my left was 3 seats.

on my right was 1 seat.

so i moved to my right to allow them to be able to sit together.

they then looked at me and waited for me to turn and look at them.

and when i did,

they all smiled.

it was a genuine smile from the heart.

baby then came to pick me up.

he cycled me home.

had a talk about the future.

was planning ahead for our future careers.

going over to granny's later.

coussie's gonna teach me to use photoshop.

thanks jinmay dear for helping me with photoshop too.

if you don't matter to me,

i won't bother about your opinions of me.

you all can be self centered for all you want.

i don't care.

i will show you that i can do the same.

just wait and see.

to end off,

tiffany laopo,

i'm so happy for you.

i know that you'll find a guy who's worth it.

i believe he is.

love you.

smarties

2009-11-21T21:28:00.003+08:00

i was sick this week.

but i had this huge craving for a super rich chocolately cake.

especially the one my workplace sells.

it's called triple chocolate.

it has gigantic chocolate chips at the side and the fudge on top is just so tempting.

then i had craving for smarties.

but it's so hard to find any these days.

but hui hui bought a tube for me.

such a sweetheart.

and baby dee bought me a whole pack!

that's my boy.

on wed,

hui hui and i had our field supervision.

the kids were a handful that day.

very happy that we both passed.

that's all i ask for.

i don't dare to even ask for good grades.

the field supervisor came down to watch our lesson.

then during evaluation,

she asked us:

what is a vegetable?

we were at a loss for words.

she then started drawing mindmaps on vegetables,

branching out on the different parts of the plants that we eat,

etc.

both of us were stunned.

after that,

she asked us what is a mushroom.

we nearly fainted.

went down to school after that for IT lesson.

we were super hungry then.

lesson dragged on.

KE after class.

coffeebean with my wifey and fryderyk.

Thursday

i remembered it was a rainy day.

then baby came over.

cooked noodles for him and tingy.

they both then went off to school.

met mummy after her work.

she bought me a new laptop cos it pains her heart when i carry my very heavy dell laptop to school.

i love you mummy.

Friday

tingy and i went down to school.

to uninstall the old programmes from my dell laptop,

and install the programmes into my new laptop.

happy happy.

BK at simei,

then baby surprised me by appearing behind me while eating.

he then fell in love with my laptop.

homed with tingy.

baby picked me up after dinner.

wanted to catch 2012.

but tickets for the 8.15 show at century was sold out.

the ticketing person asked us if we wanted to catch the 9.15 show.

we said no.

we walked over to tm,

tickets for the 8.30 show were sold out.

we then walked back to century to purchase the tickets for the 9.15 show.

but it was already sold out.

HOW IRRITATING IS THIS.

we then decided to pass time by looking at hamsters.

baby then sent me home.

Today

woke up and mum prepared breakfast.

ate and went to work.

work was fine as usual.

thomas is forever entertaining.

made new friends today.

they are new.

hence,

i'm no longer the newest worker in berrylite.

hehehehe.

bought dinner and homed after work.

doing up my assignments.

just finished singapore families essay draft.

shall do ec's essay draft tomorrow.

Rainy mornings

2009-11-16T12:32:00.002+08:00

i had work on sat and sun.

both mornings were rainy.

it was a nice start of the day.

work was fine.

vanessa told me about the story of berrylite.

tan jin may that sweetheart came to accompany me during my break.

was overjoyed.

love her to bits.

down with sore throat, flu, cough.

assignments pilling up.

have to implement lesson on wed.

teacher janice is nice enough to let me take the Nursery kids.

yay.

giving KE a miss today.

feels so weird to break my record of 100% attendance.

i can't seem to find the motivation to get myself started on the assignments.

okay.

shall do up my lesson plan for attachment on wed.

yes.

do it now.

and,

charmaine low pei jun, you owe me some explaination BIG TIME!

how can you not tell me anything about it?

call me up soon k!

Learn to treasure

2009-11-07T21:13:00.002+08:00

yesterday during PEC tutorial,

we were told to go for dialogue in the dark.

it's an exhibition in school.

it's totally dark,

and we were guided by a visually impaired guide.

he's really nice.

initially,

i was damn scared.

the feeling of having to move around in totally darkness just scared me.

in fact,

i almost wanted to back out the moment we stepped in.

we were given walking canes to guide us around.

it's really really scary.

but this whole experience made me realise how fortunate i am to be able to see.

we had to cross bridges,

walk on sand,

walk on pebbles,

purchase drinks,

identify fruits,

differentiate between the green and red apples,

use our sense of touch to feel the car plate number,

the car's colour,

and stuff like that.

it's really an eye opener for me.

hence,

if you're interested to go for this exhibition,

it's $12 for students and $20 for adults.

and there's an opening promotion now.

so everything's half price.

attachment today.

kinda heartwarming to see the kiddos,

especially when they remembered my name.

week two of school

2009-10-25T21:51:00.003+08:00

school really suck.

i don't like going to school.

and i am a terrible student indeed.

out of the whole week,

i only went for 2 days of lesson.

i'm terrible, aren't i?

mon was the first day of school.

ke after that.

i refused to stand on the shuttle bus on tues.

hence,

i decided to take a train there.

on the train,

i started seeing double.

and hence decided to give school a miss.

baby skipped his briefing at school to come over and accompany me for a short while.

wed was IT lesson for 4 hours.

how boring can that be.

but it wasn't too bad afterall.

thurs was selling of chocolates at NUS.

i went to school on fri,

at 9am.

to my horror,

class starts at 11.

-.-

gave school a miss.

celebrated our 4 years anni.

a really simple one.

he bought new rings.

i gave him a scrapbook that i made with LOADS of effort.

seriously.

it took me like........

many many many days.

mum laughed at the scrapbook when she saw the section on baby's unglam pictures!

anyway,

seoul garden,

watched my sister's keeper,

it's a damn good show.

but i didn't cry though.

then bought stuff back to my home to eat.

tv and then baby went home.

saturday was working at berrylite.

opening with thomas.

he was telling me about stuff,

that made me laugh like crazy.

my shift ends at 4.

wanted to clock out,

he cancelled the page.

-.-

he refused to accept the fact that i can go off earlier than him.

bought cheesecake yogurt.

it's really really yummy!

rushed to expo to work for the chocolate fair.

tiring tiring.

my job was to stand there and make sure peopel don't steal things.

-.-

how boring is this.

time literally crawled it's way through.

and,

singaporeans are indeed scary creatures.

when i was told to give out the free sampling chocolates,

i swear i had to fight for my life instead.

they really snatched their way through just to get that piece of chocolates.

and mind you,

it's a whole big group of them who did it!

scary!

time passed faster when jinmay's brother and i started talking.

ended up promoting the chocs together.

he's a really nice guy.

so may,

be nicer to him!

today.

work at berrylite.

i was really late.

time breezed through with vanessa and thomas.

had some laughters.

and we were staring at a guy who had a distorted nose.

thomas said he obviously had a fight with someone.

oh well.

a whole new week of school is starting.

absolutely not looking forward to it.

and one last thing to add.

p.s. i heard it on the radio.

when you smoke,

the cigarette does the smoking,

you, are the sucker.

WORK

2009-10-18T20:57:00.003+08:00

i refuse to accept the fact that school starts tmr!

anyway,

chocolate selling at fengshan primary school again.

ate their canteen food.

it's so,

not-up-to-standard.

really for kids huh.

then,

there's this group of kids.

then they told us that one of their friend,

thinks i'm pretty and he likes me.

jinmay, me and aunty doreen stunned.

then they added :

johnathan say she very sexy.

ALL OF US BURST OUT LAUGHING AT THAT INSTANT.

hello?

i'm like almost 10 years older than that kid cannnnn.

-.-

baby accompanied me to bobby's house warming yesterday.

bought him a cute little mushroom to store things.

bobby's mother was extremly friendly.

she kept saying :

"clarabel, go take food."

"clarabel, sit here and eat"

"clarabel, take more food. "

hahaha.

so nice of her.

bobby's itouch dropped from the 11th floor to the first floor.

thanks to his friendsssssss.

he was really angry.

scary.

work today.

as usual,

cut fruits,

wash fruits,

cut more fruits,

wash fruits,

serve customers,

wash fruits,

cut more fruits,

and it went on and on and on.

and i cut a box of mutated gigantic strawberries today.

it's really huge.

about the size of a kiwi!

and i plucked up enough courage to actually eat alone at kfc during my lunch break.

can't believe i survived that.

and i've got a new phone.

baby met me after work.

came over to my place and ate some of my mummy's curry.

our 4 years anniversary in 5 days time.

looking forward to it.

oh great.

school's starting in 12 hours time.

GAH.

Just a brief update

2009-10-13T11:45:00.003+08:00

tags replied :

JM : yes. you're silly. and you know that. :P

Ghost : yup. hope everything's okay for you too! AND, you didn't tell me how did the apology went.

Evelyn : Hi evelyn. (: HAHA.

Xueryl: i was just thinking of you this morning, then i saw your tag. haha. misses too!

i had KE yesterday.

baby accompanied me during the afternoon.

practice was fine.

the highlight of the day was squeezing into miss ann's car,

and then,

while we're on our way to the highway,

this lady driver,

drove towards our direction!

all of us got a shock!

we've got no idea how she actually passed her driving license.

her car was literally in front of us,

facing us!

damn scary at first.

then we realised that it was funny.

HAHA.

burger king at east point with laopo.

then homed.

Today.

baby has camp.

till thursday.

the previous week passed really quickly.

and i went to sell chocolates at feng shan primary school.

OMG.

i tell you,

i nearly committed suicide.

every single kid there called me "aunty"

and i have to respond to that word!

it's a kind of physical and mental torture you know?!

me,

18 years old,

and being deemed fit as an AUNTY.

how terrible can that be?

it just went on the whole day,

that for a moment,

i believed that i was an aunty!

GAH.

work at berrylite on thurs, and sun.

everytime i do opening with jolene,

something not very plesant will happen.

the first time i worked with her in the morning,

the small machine spoilt.

the yogurt is unable to freeze.

and on sunday when i worked with her,

the big maching leaked.

causing the whole shop to be sticky.

it was so sticky,

that my shoes were stuck to the floor when i tried to walk away from where i was standing.

super funny lah!

it was crisis day on sunday.

everything just went the wrong way.

work was fine.

i'm beginning to accept the fact that fruits have to be cut into small little pieces.

when i first cut watermelon,

i swear that it was the worse fruit ever,

cos it's so heavy!

then,

i was told to cut mangoes.

i swear that the mangoes are the most terrible fruit ever.

cos it's so slippery,

it keeps sliding off the glove,

and there's a stupid seed in the middle.

-.-

it's just a damn stupid fruit.

AND,

i thought cutting an over-riped mango is bad enough.

but cutting an under-ripe mango is worse.

GAH.

it just gets worse at work.

and then,

when i'm determined that i hate mangoes,

i was told to cut the pomegranate.

from that moment onwards,

i decided that no fruit can be worse than that.

you know why?

i've never seen or eaten a pomegranate before.

in order to cut it,

we must cut it in half.

and then pluck out the little saps one by one.

it requires tons of patience,

and effort!

because if we pluck it too hardly,

it will burst.

and the juice will start flying everywhere.

-.-

and yet if we don't use enough force,

IT JUST DOESN'T COME OUT.

how terrible is this?

hence,

my conclusion is,

the pomegranate is officially my hatest fruit.

bottle full of love

2009-10-04T21:39:00.004+08:00

tags replied : (p.s. i'm so sorry i realised i forgot to reply tags)

charmaine : wei. don't laugh at me okay. ):

qihui : (: thanks for everything.

hui hui : i dunno. send for repair?

brief update.

wed.

was planning to make a little something for baby dee cos he's going on his flying trip the next day.

decided on a bottle of strawhearts.

was on the MRT to school.

from tampines to dover,

i only completed 8 little stars.

how the hell am i gonna fill the whole bottle up then?

KE.

after that,

dessert with laopo at tiong bahru

continued on the stars.

in the end,

i decided to write on the little pieces of paper and roll them up and put it in the bottle.

thanks laopo for helping!

otherwise i would just die.

so i wrote lots of little nonsense in those paper!

and the stars fill up the bottom.

left it at baby's house doorstep before walking home.

Thursday.

vivo in the morning with laopo to get stuff for dearest tan jinmay.

may's birthday.

steamboat, sheesha, beer and homed.

Friday

chocolate selling at Raffles Institue with dearest tan jinmay.

made our way there by bus.

walked a damn big round just to get into the school.

stupid school, damn big.

-.-

sales was bad.

ended up spending the working time eating chips and talking with aunty.

the students there are just weird.

they aren't even the least bit attracted to chocolates.

in fact,

they try to avoid our booth as much as possible.

after work,

went home to get stuff while may waited for me SOMEWHERE

baby dee came back from his trip.

and he bought me cookies. <3

e!hub and bbq chicken with may after that.

may went home while dee and i went to return dvd and had yogurt.

homed after that.

Saturday

work at berrylite.

made new friends.

javier is a big bully.

i bought bubble tea for him and sheng ming and myself during break.

my bubble tea and his had the same colour straw.

he wrote his name on his cup of bubble tea,

and switch his cup with mine.

and he WAITED for me to pick his drink up and drink so that he can laugh at me.

-.-

what a bully right!

but it was fun working with them.

ended work at 6,

accompanied sheng ming for his break.

it's so saddening to eat alone.

and he's a vegetarian!

he told me some stuff about the shop.

ah well.

homed after that.

Today.

opening with jolene.

she's late.

so i started myself.

being new,

i don't really know what to do.

so i placed the things at some weird way.

in the end,

she had to rearrange everything.

so sorry!

talked quite a fair bit during work.

jaclyn came in at 12.

and then,

while working,

i was thinking of my dearest baby dee.

and he suddenly pop out in front of me!

i was stunned.

i thought i was dreaming.

but yah.

he came to accompany me.

so sweet right.

hehehe.

homed,

dinnered with family.

daddy brought us to some restaurant underneath a void deck.

total bill came up to about $120 for the 4 of us!

had an ice-cream cone for dessert after that.

oh yes.

i need to complain.

it's so damn unfair that guys have huge hands!

they can play chords on the piano so much more effortlessly!

it's damn unfair.

i'm damn sad.

i'm so gonna chiong my beethoven pathetique sonata.

i love that song so much,

and i'm extremly inspired by the videos on youtube!

i don't care even if my hand starts to cramp!

i'm just gonna chiong and finish the pieceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

oh yes.

i want to learn beethoven's moonlight sonata, 3rd movement too!

okay.

i will.

and i must find the motivation.

devastated is the word

2009-09-29T01:24:00.003+08:00

my lovely beloved camera went mad.

it's spoilt.

it takes pictures with weird horizontal lines across it.

i am very sad.

it's not just a camera.

baby dee gave it to me on my birthday last year.

and it just passed the warranty period by a week?

goodness.

no wonder the warranty period lasts for a year.

service centre is all the way at Toh Guan road.

very nice.

i've never heard of such a road before.

rambutan / lychee / longan road i've seen and heard of.

but Toh guan road?

sorry no.

I'M SO GONNA CALL THE OPERATORS TOMORROW MORNING.

oh yes.

i came home to a sweet surprise today.

i received a card.

a birthday card that was mailed to my home.

from the girls.

joleen, qihui and chantel.

really touched from the bottom of my heart.

if you girls ever read this,

THANKS A MILLION.

<3 align="center">oh yes.

it's coussie's birthday

happy 19th my dearest cousin.

love you loads!

ikea, stayover, waffle crisps and hangouts soon!

Birthdays

2009-09-26T21:32:00.004+08:00

it's been a busy busy week.

20th sept - baby's birthday

22nd sept - my birthday and bobby's birthday

23rd sept - our 47th month anniversary.

i bought him a solvil titus watch.

he bought me a solvil titus watch.

mummy says : like that equals to you buy watch for yourself and he buy for himself lor!

dee dee had his birthday party.

i had a really really happy and meaningful birthday.

it was really simple.

which is why i liked it so much.

dee spent the first few hours of my birthday after work.

we had cup noodles and craze hotties.

homed to sleep.

in the morning,

dearest tan jinmay popped by my house when i was sleeping to give me 2 pretty cakes.

stoned at my house for a few moments,

went to catch the ugly truth with baby.

after that,

went to white sands to return a library book.
went to e!hub to wait for my family.

dinnered at sakura with mum, dad, tingy and dee.

went to my place after that.

bobby came by to give me a apple bracelet.

went to buy drinks with dee.

rotted at my house till midnight.

baby left.

it's really sufficient for me,

to have the people who matters the most to me in my life.

with them,

i don't need anything else.

i truly enjoyed my 18th.

and tingy dear bought me the liu qian magic book.

gosh.

i adore liu qian.

he's so cute!

finally met up with adeline dear on thurs.

movie, BBQ chicken,

and with her great idea,

we walked from e!hub to my home.

it took us an hour and a half!

watched the 9'o clock show at my home.

before sending her to the busstop.

love her to bits!

work has been occupying most of my free time and weekends.

i wouldn't say that the job is tough.

it's just,

simple.

but yet,

repetitive.

so means,

i have to repeat the things that i do over and over again.

for example,

i can be standing at that one particular position cutting fruits for an hour.

did closing yesterday night with jolene.

reached home around 1am.

slept at 1 plus,

woke up at 7.

did opening with thomas today.

i was prepared to have my breakfast alone somewhere,

but mummy woke up and toasted chicken pie for me.

caught a bad flu.

used up 2 huge packets of tissue.

each packet contains 120pieces of tissue.

thomas gave me panadol.

it didn't work.

i had fun crushing oreos today.

i enojyed removing the cream.

was talking to thomas throughout the whole morning.

the people there are really really nice.

i like my new colleagues.

while working,

i realised i missed the fun factor in work that i used to have.

almost 3 years ago,

i worked in mac with dee.

i missed the way zhao wei, zhi jie and wee disturbed me.

i remember being locked up in the chiller by zhi jie.

he even turned the lights off.

i missed the "sisters" among ourselves.

i missed the way aunty chiu ting dotes on me.

i missed the way she protects me from the evil aunty and nasty customers.

i missed the way gary told me " mc wings without lettuce",

or "apple pie without apple"

i missed the way the managers protect me from guys that try to get my number.

after that,

i worked in subway with dee.

i missed the way azmi disturbed customers.

i missed the way dhanie called me "meow"

i missed helmi the melmi.

i missed talking to phebe.

i missed being able to work with dee.

i missed the way he makes yummy food for me to eat.

and i missed the yummy chocolate chip cookies he bakes!

i missed fighting with yazid the monster.

i missed the way he rewards me with brownies for helping him to sweep the floor.

i missed being called "behlo (in malay)"

i missed toasting marshmellows with john and nicholas.

i missed aunty june!

i missed eating western for lunch.

i missed the uncle and how his stall assistant calls me his god-daughter!

i missed sitting on the dustbin cover when my legs are tired.

i missed sitting on the floor when there are no customers!

and many many many other things,

that are so hilarious and fun.

i'll never be able to get these back.

oh gosh,

baby's watching F1 now.

i miss him.

2009-09-15T20:12:00.008+08:00

yayyyyy

i can finally upload my pictures.

i'm really happy today!

really really happy.

okay.

just a peek into the chocolate-selling job i had!

yup.

that's how it looked like.

i won't exactly say my holidays are interesting.

but it's great because i have more time to spent with my lovely friends and family!

dear sister tingy bought me a be-early birthday present!

extremely sweet of her.

hee.

it's a wallet.

i love it to bits!

and i love her to bits too!

i'll be working this coming fri, sat and sun.

night shift.

working at berrylite,

parkway parade.

wouldn't be able to attend dee's birthday party.

but i promised to look for him straight after i end work at 9!

today is a really happy day!

hee.

i met bobby in the morning for a short while,

then went to eat with daddy.

after that,

i went to buy shoes for work.

and decided to doodle on it!

it took me at least 4 hours to complete this pair!

the shoes were super super cheap.

it's only $5!

it's really frustrating cos i kept rotating the picture and uploading it again.

however,

it still doesn't go upright!

damn irritatedddddddd

nevermind.

i officially own a pair of shoe that nobody else in the world has!

it's the only one in the world.

YAY

okay.

i'm self entertaining
-

if you're really close to me,

you would probably hear me mentioning about PINOCCHIO.

yes.

that puppet with the long nose in cartoons.

omg.

there is one of it,

in whitesand's xscoop!

you know those machine in arcades where you have to catch the toys?

it's sooooooooooo cute

so damn cute.

and i really wanted it so badly.

so so so damn badly.

dee dee promised to catch it for me.

ATTEMPT NUMBER 1

we spent 10 over bucks here!
but failed!
):

ATTEMPTED NUMBER 2

FAILED AGAIN.
):

damn sad la k.
i was devastated.
-
-
-
then one fine sunny day,
i met up with dearest tan jinmay.
we went to whitesands for lunch,
and then i showed her pinocchio!!!!!!

TO MY HORROR,
it's no longer for catching.
and only for display.
i was so upset,
i really didn't know what to do.
i'll never ever get it again.
):
never ever.........

only for display.

):

i'm convinced that we weren't meant to be.
i can only look at it through that piece of glass.
):
-
-
-
-
and today,
dee dee, tingy and i went to BBQ chicken for lunch.
i knew he was up to something.
he was being very secretive!
and,

YES IT"S TRUE

he got it for me!

for meeeeee!!!!!!

i don't know how he did it!

because it's simply impossible!

he told us that he took a long time to persuade the people there.

he even told them to put it in any maching for him to catch,

or sell it to him at any price.

i was so touched!

so so so touched!!!!!!!!!!!

eventually,

a very kind auntie who was working there helped him,

and she placed the pinocchio in the sweet catching machine.

and my dearest baby dee just sat there and tried his best to fulfil his promise!

the auntie eventually,

helped him by dropping the pinocchio in the box.

oh manns.

she must be touched by his sincerity and perserverance!

i'm really very touched.

isn't it cute?!

so damn cute right the pinocchio!

i don't know why tan jin may insists that it's disgusting.

i can officially hold this thing in my hands now.

it's a dream come true,

and a promise kept!

MY DEAREST BABY DEE,

I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH

♥

4 years of relationship,

you and i

though times can turn really nasty,

but it gets back really soon.

you showed me how much i mean to you.

you were never the kind of guy who coats your words with honey.

never were you the kind of guy who mumbles sweet nothings.

but yet,

your actions prove what you meant to me.

and that;s what that really matters.

i love you baby,

i really do.

2009-09-08T00:48:00.002+08:00

tags replied :

cs : yup! shopping when we get our payyyyyyy.

xueryl : thanks for always being here. (:

eve : cute sia both of you!

xin yi : hee. shopping soon! :D

jin may : gosh. don't remind me of the soundmaker!

Gina : sorry no. but will update you if i have any!

hui hui : teacher's day? i don't wanna be a teacher.

bobby: yup. updating now.

pictures can't be uploaded.

and it's pissing the shit out of me.

brief update.

selling chocolates these few days.

thanks to jinmay dear.

though it's kinda irritating to be answering the same questions over and over again.

was posted to TPJC for 2 days.

met loads of primary and secondary school mates there.

been bombarded with the same few questions which made me wanna bang the wall.

"why are you selling chocolates here? "

"not schooling anymore? "

"you dropped out of school? "

"i thought you did quite well for your o levels, why... selling chocolates here? "

-.-

and i can only reply one, same, pathetic reply over and over again.

"i'm in poly, having holidays now. "

how irritating can this get?

thanks vernon for accompanying me!

going for 2 interviews tmr.

haven't decided what to wear.

hmm.

will update more when pictures can be posted.

2009-08-25T20:56:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 46 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY <3

-2 days ago-

p.s. if you notice, there's another face beside him.

and it's really funny as it matches our face.

the little random cards i made.

and chocolates you bought for me <3

--
Finally made a trip down to granny's last week.

yummy food for dinner.

coussie was really happy as there's extra dishes

went down with coussie to collect weeds.

it was a truly fun experience.

and we saw a really pretty sky.

after that,

went to get rootbeer and instant noodles.

back to granny's.

i cooked noodles for her.

hee hee.

tv,

and waffle crisps with milk!

waited for daddy,

and then he brought us for frog leg porridge.

an absolutely fulfilling day,

in terms of food.

studying for ITBD last week with laopo at coffeebean was futile.

ended up leaving quite early.

exams have finally come to a halt.
indeed something worth celebrating about.
-
but then,
everyone else is still having their papers,
and nobody is free to go out.
hence,
home seems like the perfect place to be in.
-
DLE paper yesterday was a piece of cake.
it wasn't as tough as i imagined it to be.

town with xinyi and cherng shing yesterday.

talked and bitched and crapped alot.

settled down for fried mars balls with vanilla ice-cream.

an absolutely yummy but sinful treat.

job hunted at far east.

filled up application forms over and over again.

headed to cine

sat at Gloria Jean's coffee and talked for an hour and a half.

time flies when i'm with them!

me and cherng shing

xin yi and i

heeren after that,

and bused home with xinyi.

really had a great time out with you two!

spent the whole time today watching tv.

bought dinner home for my family.

and a bag of 2.5kg rice.

i nearly died on my way home.

didn't buy my own dinner cos i forgot and it's too heavy!

oh gosh.

exams please be over soon for dee!

otherwise i'll rot everyday at home like today.

2009-08-22T19:31:00.003+08:00

tags replied:

hui hui : uh huh. i'm suay. but at least i can protect myself. :D

Roz: yup. no more fighting i hope. will try. (:

JM : hee. yup. thanks for everything. loves.

eve : haha. it's better now. just that there's a scar. i hope it's temporary. ):

xueryl : hee hee. don't jealous la. i still love you the most. :P

yan zong : chill mann. i'm perfectly fine. (:

xiangluan : haha. don't worry. i'm okay. (:

xueryl : yup. meet up soon, after my exams! miss you.

tingie : love you sister. <3

ITBD paper yesterday was definitely a disaster.

i'm pretty sure i screwed the whole thing up.

i literally bombed my way through the entire paper.

filling the questions up with answers that don't seem to come from the textbook.

met tingie after that.

walked around the freezing cold mall.

my little finger was totally numb.

i couldn't even feel a thing when she pinched me really hard!

dee joined us for yogurt.

frozen yogurt with almonds and strawberries and grapes and oreos is the bestest thing ever.

dee and i had it like, 3 or 4 times this week.

after that,

went to e!hub to catch a movie with tingie.

after that,

went to the coffeeshop near home for dinner.

then we went home.

watched tv and bobby popped by.

both of us looked out of the balcony in fascination when he rode his motorbike away.

hahaha.

OH YES.

i had this damn weird dream yesterday.

i dreamt that dee and i belong to this cca.

it's a really weird cca.

it's kinda like, surfing?

just that you have to lie on this plank of plastic looking wood and sort of make it move in the sea, using your hands.

so ya.

both of us were in that cca.

and i had a best friend.

in my dream,

my best friend is super super fat and round.

definitely not the kind of girl who's sweet and pleasant looking.

and then,

dee and i had this 'secret underground relationship'

which means,

nobody knows that we're together.

in the cca,

i was the secretary.

so i do not have to engage myself in the sport.

all i have to do during training is to sit under a coconut tree and take down notes.

damn -.-

okay.

so ya.

my best friend had the biggest crush on dee.

so she kept telling me how much she liked him and so on.

and she kept going close to him!

but i couldn't say anything because nobody is suppose to know that dee and i were together.

it was a total nightmare i tell you.

and she asked him out,

and HE AGREED.

and i had to act gracious,

to let my best friend go on a date with my boyfriend!

haiyo.

i nearly banged the coconut tree beside me.

anyway,

in the dream,

dee and i stayed together in this apartment.

so,

we went to some supermarket to get our groceries.

then,

we bumped into boon they all at the supermarket.

we were holding hands.

but he didn't let go of my hand when we bumped into them.

-even though we're suppose to have an underground relationship-

it's a really weird dream.

then all of a sudden,

we saw cheryl, dennis, evelyn and yonghong.

but by right,

we're not suppose to know them.

cos we're in that plastic-wood-plank-pedalling cca.

so,

i had to act like i don't know them.

and of course,

they didn't recognise us either.

-.-

it's a damn weird dream.

and when we bought our groceries home,

the house was decorated nicely with scented candles,

cushions, seashells, a candlelight dinner for 2,

and practically all those things you'll see in a tv drama when the guy is cooking western in the kitchen,

waiting for the girl to come home,

for a candlelight dinner on a table made up of glass.

yup.

that's exactly what i saw in the dream.

AND,

my fat best friend walked out of the kitchen,

wearing an apron,

with 2 plates of black pepper steak.

it's damn -.-

when she discovered that dee and i were a couple,

she fainted.

she literally fainted.

so we tried to put her on the couch,

but in vain cos she's too heavy.

so we just left her on the floor.

-.-

then i walked into the kitchen,

and saw 2 boxes of "happy western" in the dustbin.

means that she bought the steak instead of cooking it.

laughs la.

okay.

then i woke up.

ca't believe i remembered every single detail so vividly.

okay.

can't wait for this stupid last paper to end.

then,

i would be really happy,

cos it's holidays!

and i'm so gonna meet up with adeline. hee.

it's a big MUST. (:

anyway,
got to get back to studying for DLE.
so screwed, totally.

okay.

goodluck to everyone who is having your papers!

the dream's not gonna come true right?

dee?

don't you dare to run away with a fat girl.

2009-08-16T12:57:00.004+08:00

tags replied :

@.@ : laughs. eat more la you. so skinny.

xueryl : our pics are all here. :D

Gina : hees. loves. (:

yan zong : hees. :P see ya soon.

chantel : pics are here. :D

JM : i miss you too. alot. ):

xueryl : :D

xiang yu : you'll never get it back la. i think he throw away already. and, i'm not a pack of bones! (:

Ghost: yup yup. updating now.

Last day of school.

FM presentation.

in a mad rush when i reached school.

reason being,

we had to wear formal.

hence,

everyone was in a mad state of borrowing clothes and shoes from each other,

etc.

thanks meixuan for lending me heels,

and phanida for lending me jeans.

after that,

IMM with the girls.

went to secret recipe.

the brownie with ice-cream is simply a must try.

it's absolutely yummy,

and definitely a happy food when you're down.

yum.

bused back to school.

pictures on the bus.

me and chantel.

qihui, me and chantel.

escape theme park last saturday.

suppose to be an outing with the guys,

met jian ji, karjuan, yiwei, rachel, raymond and junjie there.

but we splited and went on our own.

funny.

spent the whole time at escape with cheryl, dennis and dee.

became a double date.

escape theme park is simply a place where it's nice to hang out with friends.

however,

definitely not a place that has thrilling rides.

we went for the wet and wild ride,

(in the boat)

and then the bumper boat thingy.

all of us were drenched to toes.

went out to smoke,

and tried to dry ourselves up a little by sitting under the sun.

started taking pictures for self entertainment.

dee and i

dennis and cheryl

me and cheryl

then our boyfriends trying to be macho.
:x

rock climbing boyfriends.
:D

self timed camera,

the four of us.

i like this picture.

went for lunch,

and then played awhile more.

when we were about to leave,

jian ji gave me this.

thanks.

went to catch a movie,

and homed.

Thursday

bobby accompanied me to bugis to get a new pair of sandals.

why?

i bought a pair of sandals last week.

it is black and has pretty jewels on it.

then,

it got stolen from my shoe rack.

-.-

anyway,

thanks bobby.

yesterday,

got myself drenched from head to toe just to buy some yummy food for my dearest.

waited for him at the bus stop,

he then went home to bathe and change.

after that,

headed down to east coast with dennis for haroz's birthday surprise bbq.

left first because of some issues.

crying my way out,

and bumped into the group of them who went out to buy drinks.

totally embarrassing.

and i felt like burying my head into a hole.

while i was walking home,

2 drunkards followed me.

ended up with a struggle with one of them,

and i kicked him.

ended up with a scratch on my left arm.

homed.

it doesn't even bother you that i'm in pain and bleeding.

all you did was to continue having fun out there.

i couldn't fall asleep at night,

but yet i didn't even dare to drop you a msg.

for fear that we might end up in another quarrell.

i stayed wide awake till 6am in the morning.

cos the pain is too much to bear.

it hurts from the wound,

as well as from the heart.

but do you even care?

i doubt it.

2009-08-04T12:38:00.004+08:00

i was ransacking through my pictures.
and i saw my o level art sketches.
thinking about it,
it's something i'm proud of.
though,
it only got me a final grade of C5.
-
-
-
-
-
-

and nope,
i do not like spiders.
neither am i a spider fanatic.
so,
don't ask why i drew spiders.
and my favourite picture,
it's a backview of a lady who is grasping on to her hair.

i like it.
i really do.
oh well.
but,
C5.
-
-
-
-
anyway,
i drew 2 pictures when i was really really angry.
here it is.

stupid right.
okay.
it's finally coming to the end of the semester.
just can't wait for holidays to come.

gonna head down to bugis now.
oh yes.
i had a drastic lost of weight.
standing at a weight of 45 kg now.
which means i lost 5 kg.
good news isn't it?
i like.

The wake up call

2009-08-02T14:42:00.000+08:00

tags replied

cousin : yup. i love you too.
hui hui : i'll take care.
chantel : don't worry. glad to have you girls in school.
cs : yup. i'll be okay.
qihui : don't worry. thanks for everything in school.
yan zong : yupp. don't worry. told you not to over-react.
tingy : i love you too sister.
evelyn : what a surprise to see your tag. thanks for your concern.

and to a very special person in my heart
CHERYL

thanks for everything.
really.
be it the random meetings,
the donuts,
the eeyore,
the cake thingy,
and all other presents....
thanks for being there for me, always.
thanks for bringing me out to unwind.
thanks for making the effort to make me feel better.
thanks for coming into my life.

really appreciate everything.
really.
-
-
-
-
and to my other lovelies like jinmay and tiffany,
thank you for being there with me.
you girls filled up my life with so much love, hope and concern.
you girls never fail to show how much you care for me.
-
-
-
and of course to bobby,
you said i'm like a sister from a different parent.
that makes you my brother from another family.
thanks for baking those wonderful cookies for me.
it's your first time baking cookies,
and you baked it for me.
thank you so much.
it was something filled with love.
and i can really feel it.
thanks bob, my bro.
-
-
-
to my school lovelies like chantel, joleen, qi hui, hui hui and of course, REGINA,
thanks a million for being there.
you people are the poor things who have to see my black face about 99 percent of the time.
being the first few people i see in the morning,
you girls have to bear with my moody outburst and horrible face.
yet,
you never give up trying to make me feel better.
all the drinks, food, snacks, and naggings,
forced me to take care of myself better.
thank you girls.
-
-
-
and of course my closest people like dee, tingy, dad and mum,
you all are the ones who never fail to put the smile back on my face.
especially tingy who will try and be a clown for me.
and you cooked noodles for me,
for the first time in your life.
thanks my dear sister.
i promise i'll wait for you at your school bus stop next week when i do not have school.
i will be there.
and to my dearest sweetest dee dee
you are the poorest thing who has to suffer each and every of my attitudes
you have to give in to me on whatever i want or insist on.
yet you never fail to show your undying love for me.
i kept asking if you love me.
and your answer would always be a yes.
thanks for accompanying me despite being angry at me.
thanks for giving me a chance to explain.
and thanks for believing me.
i love you, and i truly do.

lastly,
adeline.
your text gave me the biggest shock.
which is why i named this post as the wake up call.
you're right.
i shouldn't be taking everyone for granted.
it's not that i want to.
i'm trying to get rid of my negative thoughts and behaviour.
with lots of help from others,
i'm able to get through it slowly now.
you mean alot to me,
and i can't bear to lose someone like you.
i know you'll always be there for me.
once i've braced myself up,
i'll be there for you.
love you girl.

-
-
-
-
-
i shouldn't be taking everyone for granted.
i'm sorry.
love all of you,
who have become a part of my life.

2009-07-30T02:34:00.001+08:00

it's 2.34am.
to those who care,
i'll be fine.
don't worry.
coussie, tingy, dee, , bobby, melmi, jinmay, michelle, tiff, cheryl, adeline, hui hui, regina, chantel, joleen, qihui, and many others.
really appreciate everything you all have done for me.
be it buying of stuff, making of things, encouraging msgs, etc.
thanks for showing that you care.
thanks for helping me to fill up that gaping hole i have in me.
thanks for being there.
-
-
-
-
projects are a killer.
spent an extremely long period of time trying to do ITBD poster today.
i seriously don't know what happened to me.
but using microsoft words, powerpoint and paint seems to much more harder.
i kept asking dee how to do this or that,
or where to find certain buttons.
-
-
eventually,
i was kinda proud with the poster that i've completed.
but,
i guess it's far too lousy to be used.
lots of amendments have to be made.
i felt so lousy.
it's just a bloody poster.
and yet i can't do it properly.
i'm a loser,
and a failure in life.
-
-
-
i can't accept criticsms.
i hate myself.
it's just a stupid poster...
just a poster......
-
-
currently stuck with DLE project.
we have to do up a corner tomorrow.
the theme is bakery.
i thought of the theme.
just completed the chart.
after finishing it,
i realised that i took 3 hours to do something that is so simple.
why?
it's just a stupid chart.
one stupid bloody chart.
and it took me 3 hours.
why?
told you,
i'm a loser,
and a failure in life.
-
-
-
-
while doing the chart,
i kept thinking.
what's gonna happen if i die?
how's everyone gonna react?
will it even matter?
does my presence even matter?
guess not.
-
-
-
-
-
going back to making my biscuits now.
so sorry to all my groupmates.
it's your misfortune to have me as your group member.
it's your mishap to work with me.
i'll try my best.
please accept me for being a loser,
and a failure in life.

miserable nights

the world's no longer the same

2009-07-26T20:35:00.003+08:00

tags replied:

hui hui : yup thanks.

jin may : love you too.

yan zong : yupp thanks.

ghost : i know. thanks.

xueryl : yupp. don't worry. thanks for your concern.

13 common symptoms of depression

you can’t sleep or you sleep too much

it's either lying in bed awake till the next morning,

or falling asleep at 11pm until noon.

you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult

piano playing has become more difficult...

can't seem to complete a song.

can't focus on reading,

be it books or school work..

just can't seem to keep my eyes on the words.

you feel hopeless and helpless

kinda hate my existence.

feel that i'm useless.

nothing seems to make me feel better.

you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try

seriously cannot control..

destroy stuff to vent my anger,

pull my own hair,

pinch myself,

scratch myself,

slapped myself when i saw my reflection.......

you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating

it either no appetite the whole day,

or weird and sudden food cravings.

you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual

take my anger out on people..

hence would rather be left alone.

irritated very easily.

get angry over the slightest things.

break combs and pencils to vent my anger.

you have thoughts that life is not worth living

feel that it's so tiring to continue on with life.

pop pills to make myself sleep,

but end up staying awake the whole night.

you tear frequently and cry for no reason

sudden flow of tears while taking a bus ride

sudden crying when i'm trying to fall asleep.

cry over matters which i won't bother in the past.

you feel a loss of energy

Feeling fatigued and physically drained.

Even small tasks are exhausting or take longer.

tired the whole day but yet unable to sleep at night.

you withdraw yourself from certain friends and family

don't wish to talk much to school friends anymore.

quite cold to certain people at times.

but yet i'm still quite normal to lovelies like may, cheryl and tiff.

you self-loath

Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

hates my reflection.

Harsh criticism on myself of perceived faults and mistakes.

hated myself for not being able to remember to bring or do certain things...

you do things that you loath
picked up bad habits which i used to dislike.

wants to punish myself by doing things i hate.

you find pleasure in self inflicted pain

loves the way my skin reddens after pinching.

loves the way my head throbs after pulling my hair.

loves the stinging sensation on my cheek after the slap.

way to go,

clarabel low.

you got 13 out of 13

that's full marks.

keep it up.

2009-07-20T14:15:00.001+08:00

when you're down and out,

i tried to be there for you.

i tried to put that smile back on your face.

be it buying things,

being silly,

etc.

now that i'm feeling so miserable,

will you be there for me?

i guess not

2009-07-16T23:25:00.002+08:00

tags replied :

ghost : yah right. i know who you are. (:

yan zong : yupp. agreed.

wei han : haha. yea. jams in the mornings are killers.

xuerly : love you! (:

it feels so good to have someone there with you when you need it.

thanks cheryl,

really thanks.

thanks for buying me so many things when i'm down and out.

thanks for accompanying me whenever i need that lsitening ear

thanks for being there to listen to my rantings

thanks for making me tell you what happened otherwise you'll bang at my house door

and thanks,

for being part of my life.

and plus,

a bottle of perfume that you bought.

she bought a bottle for me and one for herself.

so we can wear the same fragrance and ask our boyfriends to find us by smelling.

thanks cheryl.

things are kinda sucky now.

thanks may,

for accompanying me yesterday and today.

because of you,

i managed to burst out laughing at your house just now.

and thanks for calling to check on me.

thanks alot may.

really appreciated.

thanks bobby

for having this "telepathy" kinda thing.

and checking on me whenever you sense that i'm not okay.

and it always come true.

and you made me swear not to pop pills to make myself sleep,

otherwise something bad will happen to you..........

thanks bobby.

thanks tingie my dear sister.

thanks for hugging me when i cried.

thanks for patting on my back to show me that you're there for me.

thanks coussie for being there.

trying to cheer me up,

and calling me when i'm down.

thanks coussie.

loves.

thanks everyone,

who cared.

withdrawing into self destruction

2009-07-07T23:27:00.003+08:00

why is it so,

that the girls around me have to be hurt by guys?

why is it so,

that love is something so magical,

yet cruel at the same time?

these few days are a disaster.

days are spent consoling them,

and trying to cheer them up.

they are suffering indeed.

but yet,

i can't do anything to make them feel better.

the only thing i can provide,

is a listening ear,

and letting them know that i'm there for them.

girls,

stay strong.

you'll get through it.

i'll be with you all.

though i really can't do much,

but i'm really willing to take the pain if i can.

to T

you are the closeset friend i have in poly

many things have happened

we're not as close as before anymore

but,

i don't wanna see you sad.

though you haven't told me the full story yet,

but i feel that you're upset and hurt.

i don't like to see you like that.

nevertheless,

i'm here for you.

do update me soon.

loves

to C

sorry for not being able to meet you today.

i hope you're feeling better after our long talking session yesterday night.

never expected we would have so much to talk about,

and so many things to share.

my dear,

having to endure so many lies over and over again is very difficult.

in fact,

i admire you for your patience.

i know you're at a loss of what to do.

but i'm sure you'll get through it.

and things will return to it's happy state like once before.

i'll be there for you,

as long as it's within my abilities.

take care and cheer up.

loves

to A

dear girl,

it pains me the most to see you like this.

it's a tough patch that you're going through now.

even without seeing you,

i can imagine how devastated you feel.

i really wish to be able to be there for you right now.

letting go would be the best choice.

but even if you decide to pursue,

i'll be there with you,

to give you the support that you need.

i'm really worried about you.

yet i feel so helpless.

cos i can't take away any fraction of the pain you have with you.

be strong.

remember what i said about your suicidal thoughts.

it's a big nonono.

i'm just a phone call away.

loves.

isn't it devastating,

to be able to do nothing but to listen?

to be able to listen but not help?

if you need me,

i'll be there.

as long as it's within my abilities,

i'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better.

girls,

be strong.

be brave.

we'll get through this together.

may there be no more tears,

no more sorrows,

no more broken hearts.

no more pain,

no more agony,

no more grief.

may there always be sunshine

may there always be blue sky

------------------------------

i'm always here for you

2009-07-06T17:27:00.003+08:00

tags replied

hui hui : hahaha! whatever lah you. attachment's in 2 days time. ):

ghost : hahaha! i know who you are. _ _ _. right? :P

school's in today

woke up,

bathed,

walked to interchange.

i'm always in a rush.

because i just can't seem to wake up earlier so that i can take my own sweet time.

thus,

i have to walk really fast every morning.

and lady gaga would be my best friend!

cos i would listen to " just dance " and "poker face"

and walk according to the beat

and it results in me keeping a fast pace to reach the interchange!

sounds quite stupid

but it works for me!

usually,

i'll board the shuttle bus,

and reach school around 8.30 for my 9am lesson.

today,

there was this massive jam along PIE

the bus was moving so slowly,

that i think everybody on the bus would rather alight and walk by ourselves.

hence,

the driver,

was also irritated

so he decided to turn into the exit to balestier

i had no single clue where i am.

and finally,

after a period of time,

i saw a place that i recognised!

it was........

orchard road.

-.-

fancy being in orchard road at 8.50am when your class starts at 9!

oh well

alot of people were caught in the terrible jam too.

so it's alright.

reached the classroom around 9 plus

we had to do research on our essay on finding nemo.

we had to reaserch on the reasons for single-parent families in singapore

ting yun sat beside me

and both of us ended up laughing at the funny things we found.

we were trying to look for divorce rates in singapore

and many funny things came out.

such as :

"9 ways to see if your spouse is cheating on you"

"common excuses for divorce"

"what must i do wrongly before i am applicable to apply for a divorce? "

"you can apply for a divorce if you can't stand the behaviour of your spouse"

etc.

ting yun then told me that some people used really weird excuse for applying a divorce.

for example :

"i can't stand the way my spouse squeeze the toothpaste"

i laughed till my tears nearly came out.

the divorce statistics in singapore were said to be 10%

-.-

how can it be 10% only?

out of the 4 of us sitting together,

all of us came from single-parent / divorced families.

so how can it be 10% only?

-.-

nevermind

so we zoomed in to pre-marital sex that leads to children having single-parent families.

nat who was sitting in front then told us that 50% of american teenagers get pregnant

which amounts to about 1 million teens getting pregnant every year

we were stunned

then i said:

"wah. then if you suay suay kena, and your mum kicks up a big fuss, just tell her : hey mum, i'm part of the one in a million statistics. no big deal!"

i think the mother will just coma immediately

HAHA

anyway,

after a great laughing session,

class ended and we headed down to makan place for our lunch.

chantel and i finally got our mushroomssssssssssssssssss

but,

it wasn't as nice as before

after that,

chantel received a msg,

telling us that,

ITBD LECTURE WAS CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!

we squealed and clapped and hi-fived like some crazy group of girls who has just struck the lottery of one million dollars!

hahaha

you see,

our break is at 12.

and our lecture starts at 4.

so this gives us a stupid 4 hour break every monday

which will definitely bore the shit out of anyone.

thus,

we get to go home early today

so super happy!

we bought ice-cream to celebrate!

okay.

after that,

bused home.

tingy wants fries

to i went to 201 to get a packet of fries for her

after that,

while i was walking home,

it was raining and the wind was damn strong.

i was at my house void deck

so i was walking against the wind.

and to my horror,

i realised that i'm not moving at all

-.-

in fact,

i had difficulties standing still.

the banglas stared at me

they were obvious amused by what they are seeing

-.-

i felt so embarrased.

i even have to hide behind the stupid wall to wait for the stupid wind to finish blowing before i can walk home.

how retarded is this?

managed to reach home after quite some time.

rested awhile,

and played the piano.

i just love playing the piano on a rainy day.

emotions would seem to portray naturally.

and i feel like i'm part of the music.

the effect that the raindrops have is simply amazing.

the piano is the only thing that allows me to express my feelings.

i don't know how to describe it.

perhaps,

it has became an important part of my life.

and it's a skill that i definitely do not wish to lose.

piano portrays perfection

2009-07-05T21:55:00.003+08:00

some pictures on what i've been up to.

sushi making for my family for dinner.
:D
they like it.
dee dee liked it too. (:

monday
went to the doctors'.
dee was sick too.
so we went to see the doctor together.
both of us had to wear masks cos we got flu
doctor gave me 2 days mc.

thursday
convention centre underpass was selling cute stuff
bought gummies for dee and tingy

went to TP to camp for dee after school.
:P
passed him the gummies before going home.

Friday was mentioned in my earlier post.

Saturday was stoning at home.

TODAY (:
had to go to the science centre for FM project.
dee accompanied me there today.
train rides are especially fast with him.

reached jurong east
tried to find our way
found it and went to the science centre!
i'm suppose to take pictures of the eco garden and stuff
but it started to rain
):

toured the place,
was really really fascinated with many things there.
dee laughed at the way i stare at things when i'm fascinated.

this stupid thing is a fish!
how can i not stare?
it's so unbelievable.

after awhile,
the rain stopped a little
went to the eco garden to snap a few pictures before the rain came back!

i think this is pretty. (:

continued with our exploring
dee tried to be funny!

oh.
then we tried this stupid thing.
it's like,
you have to hit something with a hammar,
and something will "spark off" with the impact,
and the harder you hit,
the higher it goes?

the kid in front of me tried,
and his wass about 46
when it was my turn,
i hit it with all my might.
goodness
i actually lost to a kid
cos mine was only 30 plus.
dee tried,
and he managed to get 126.
-.-
am i a loser or what?
grr

nvm
so we continued touring and we got really exhausted.
decided to leave as we're hungry.
long john cravinggggggggg

walk to the bus interchange and bused to IMM
found the long john.
(:
happy us.

after eating,
i randomly mentioned that i want to eat "shan zha"
i don't know what is it called in english.
but it's this reddish thing,
and i really loved to eat it since young.

however,
i was too lazy to peel the wrapper.
too troublesome.
dee decided to buy it for me and peel the wrapper for me.
so that i won't have to do it myself
(:
he then bought this small little tupperware to put everything in.
so that i can still eat it even without him around.
i was so touched
(:

we then trained home.
happy happy day.
(:

pardon us,
we're quite not-photogenic today.

alright
school's tomorrow
i'm totally not looking forward to it.
school suck

2009-07-04T12:52:00.007+08:00

have you ever felt that today is a,

"i need a hug day"

but yet,

you realise that the person that you need the hug from,

is the person who you do not wish to talk to/ see at the moment?

Friday

school in the morning,

FM lesson.

during the lesson,

we realised that we have done alot of things wrongly for project

crappppp

after that was lunch with the girls,

ice-cream with chantel

went to the underpass to study for our test at 3 pm

after that,

we started to discuss our plans for someones' birthday

was being all excited and stuff

and all the plans of hiding here and there

to our dismay,

the whole thing has to be called off

because the birthday girl was off somewhere else

oh well

had the test

i hope i pass!

after school,

homed for a while,

then went out to get my hair highlighted.

i like it

was being all excited about meeting friends in vivo

even bought something for someone

yet when i was on the train,

i was told to go home

just because i can't stay out too late for some reasons.

fine.

alighted at aljunied mrt station

took the other train back to bedok.

decided against taking it back to tamp cos it's far too bloody stupid to take the train at tamp and alight and tamp for nothing.

dumped the thing i bought for that someone

i felt that the dustbin deserves it more.

on the verge of tears.

disappointment is not the word.

perhaps it's angry or upset?

but i just figured out

it's HURT.

i can't believe i'm making a trip to vivo for nothing

but yet,

halfway there i'm already told to go home.

i hate this

i hate it when people don't regard me as someone.

they regard me as something.

i hate it.

why do my efforts always seem to go unappreciated?

why?

i hate this feeling.

i hate to be treated like shit.

i hate to feel like a fool

i hate it when i'm happy for something,

yet,

it's brushed away.

as if as i don't even matter at all.

fuck it okay.

i don't bother.

tan jin may my angel called

thank you so much for that call.

if it wasn't for that,

i would have died from bursting with emotions

don't act like you care when you don't

2009-07-01T23:36:00.003+08:00

tags replied

may: updated! (: miss you!

hui hui : hey! you're the bestest attachment partner ever. LOVES!

aroon: yea! losers they are. you should rent the show! (:

xiangluan: haha!omg. you found my blog. stalk me is it? :P

sighssss

idk why am i here when my brain cells are all dead already.

i've been up with FM project since 7pm just now.

really tiring.

but at least i've completed quite a number of things.

and i feel proud of myself.

oh yes.

i went to school yesterday just for project work.

after that was dinner with tiffany laopo.

we ate at burger king,

then this China lady was there with her daughter.

her daughter was really young.

like 5 years old.

so the lady just sat there,

don't know doing what,

then her daughter ran up to me and took my french fry.

she then ran around the whole BK and starting taking people's food.

the mother just sit there.

-.-

speechless.

okay.

going off to bed now.

bye.

i miss my boyfriend ):

2009-06-24T21:37:00.003+08:00

happy 44th months anniversary <3>

p.s. dee looks like he's dying.

shit happens

i hate it when people lie

i really hate it

i hate it when people acts a kind in front of you,

and another behind you.

will upload camp pictures soon.

thanks to the lovelies who came down and help out during nightwalk.

really love you all,

and would die without you people standing by my side.

monday was project with the girls

accompanied chantel to vivo to change her dress

will be lending her mine so that she wouldn't have to waste money on one.

granny house after that,

screwed up phone,

homed around 11.

tuesday was swimming alone.

i love to swim alone.

it clears my mind and put every single crap of my life away

i love the way the water feels when the sun is being a sucker up there

i love the way my muscle ache as it means that it's working. :D

AND

i need to manage my weight and burn those calories!

really.

while swimming,

a group of guys tried to get my number.

in the most ridiculous way

they were doing some sort of a dance under water,

trying to signal to me that they really want to be friends with me.

-.-

some guys can be such toads sometimes.

brainless toads, i would say.

bought lunch and went to granny's place again.

ate in the kitchen while watching her cook.

she allowed me to pinch food.

my granny loves me so

charmaine jie jie and family likes me to pop by for dinner.

because it would mean extra ingredients for the night.

watched the descent with coussie,

it's gore.

it's about this group of girls going to explore a cave.

the "head" of the group is this girl who led them to the cave.

she assured her friends that it's safe and she showed them the map to the cave.

but actually,

the map that she showed was not the map of the cave.

she knew that the cave has not been explored before.

or if it is,

it meant that nobody has ever gotten out of it alive yet.

so she wanted them to be the first ones who combed the cave.

but.............

little did they know that the cave is filled with human like creatures,

just that these creatures have evolved to be totally blind,

and they get their prey by relying on their sense of hearing.

these creatures were after the girls,

as they feast on meat.

okay.

interested?

go and rent it!

guitared and crapped and homed

today

woke up and breakfast with dee at opposite TP

rented "the descent" as tingy and dee wants to watch after i told them about it.

we then realised that the movie is M18

that explains the GORE parts

dee went to school when i went grocery shopping for the movie later

bought tingy's lunch and homed.

waited for dee to come and we watched the movie tgt

after the movie,

accompanied him to the airport to take his test.

i waited at coffee bean for him to finish his test

ordered my favourtie,

white chocolate dream latte.

was reading my book while waiting.

talked and bused home after that.

dee was being a totally unglam nutcase.

oh well.

homed.

OH YES

i want to complain about the FP e-learning shit.

GRR

so pissed.

the lecturer put the dateline at 26th june

so i tried to access it today.

but it was removed.

then some of my friends haven't done it either.

but some of them said that the lecturer put wrong date.

it's actually due by 16th june

i mean,

then it's not our fault if we don't do it already right?

it's ironic!

and i really need to get that done because attendance would be based on that

and if i lack in the attendance again,

i might get debarred

isn't it unfair?!

GRR

so super pissed

it's human nature to do your assignments when the dateline is approaching mah?

isn't it?

although people say that singaporeans are KIASU

but,

it's still within the dateline what

-.-

i'm so pissed

oh please,

don't let me get debarred

i just wanna finish this damn course and get on with my life.

ARGH

2009-06-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

tags replied

kerwin : you consider some more and you'll get it from me. :P

hui xian : hahaha. cui right the centre!

wei han : omg. your tag so long. hahaha. thanks for your concern. i hope for things to get better! or else i'll just explode!

oh well.

i'm still trying to figure out how to get around in facebook.

and i suceeded in doing a quiz. so here it is!

Clarabel took the What's your true nature? quiz and the result is The Psychiatrist
You take the problems of others with you wherever you go. In your spare time you try to think of some way to resolve the dilemmas of your friends. You have an attraction to those who are in need and you feel that you always have to contribute in some way to make those around you like you. The respect of others is important to you

LOL

true / untrue?

will update during holidays!

2009-05-30T16:54:00.003+08:00

hi humans.

remember my last post on the kid stepping on me and brusing my feet?

here it is.

see.

i wasn't exxagerating when i said that the children are monsters.

last week,

i went for that damn attachment again

and guess what?

the stupid boy was throwing toys at his friends.

he hit a girl till her cheeks are all red.

the teacher in charge who was my mentor just sit there and did her stuff.

and she ordered me

"excuse me, can you go there and observe them to make sure they don't fight? "

WTF right?

as if as i'm her maid.

then right,

she pass me the jug and say :

"bring to the kitchen and change the water. "

WTF right?

damn it

i'm not her maid lor please.

GRR

okay

back to the part where the boy was hitting the girl.

so i went to stop them since the teacher is not doing anything about it right?

it ended up with toys being thrown at me.

and it hit my upper lip.

and there's this ugly red mark now.

but i didn't take a picture of it.

cos it's really ugly.

GRR

so,

he was getting overboard and i held his wrist and tried to calm him down.

then he started to kick me.

he wanted to kick my face but he couldn't reach.

so i was like:

me : kick lah! kick! kick some more!

he : tries to kick and kick and kick

me : kick! faster! kick!

he : frustrated and starts to scratch my wrist.

me *in pain but i act tough*

hui hui * starts to look over at the commotion at my side *

teacher in charge * sit there and watch*

hui hui's teacher then came and pull him away.

wtf is my mentor doing?

and to think that she's a graduate from NP.

bull shit and a disgrace to the course.

wanna see the scratch marks?

and i'm not exaggerating.

cos hui hui saw it all.

damn it leh.

tiffany ask me to e-mail the lecturer and complain to change centre.

i really feel like doing soooooooooooooo.

i mean,
she said if i don't do it,
she log into my account and do it for me.
LOL

but seriously,

i don't know what to do mann.

the children are too scary already lah!

DAMN IT

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

few days ago,
i was trying to surprise dee by waiting for him at YFC.
as usual,
i failed cos he exposed me.

GRR

anyway,
i bought cupcakes for him and tingy.

so nice right!
i see already also very happy.
:D

anyway,
doing to meet dee for lunch now.

hui hui says that my blog is too sad alr.

like,
i blog about all the saddening things in my life.
LOL

aiyah.
whatever.
i'm so hating early childhood now.
if i have one wish,
it would be to turn back in time and not take this damn idiotic course.

DAMN IT

2009-05-26T19:52:00.003+08:00

hi all.

i'm here to blog.

went to school today for AW grammar test and financial management test.

AW was quite okay.

all MCQs and fill in the blanks.

financial management was okay too.

partly because i took POA before.

my trial balance and balance sheet balanced.

so yah.

i'm happy.

and i left my pencil box in the lecture theatre.

qihui and chantel accompanied me back to take it.

the lecture theatre was locked by then.

thus,

i called NP securities to help me.

hohoho.

it's important to have their contact number as i often call them to open rooms that we booked for CCA.

thinking about it,

OMG

it's attachment tomorrow.

T.T

i forgot to mention,

last week,

this stupid boy stepped on my feet so badly,

that it was bruised.

last week,

i kept running after him as he kept running out of the classroom.

he's seriously being an ass.

OH YAH

hui hui and i saw a couple of cockroaches in the centre.

you should see the principal's face.

HAHA

she gave the "omg. will they complain to their lecturer?" face.

after that,

she started to treat us damn well.

really damn well.

scary~

oh well.

many things happened recently.

anyway,

some pictures to pictorise my blog.

james kor jor's wedding.

my cousin got married last sunday.

tingy, mummy and i coincidentally wore white.

tingy, me and mummy.

p.s. my mummy pretty right? :P

my sister and i

my family.

the bride and groom with us. (:

oh yes.
if you haven't heard,
my house is in a devastating mess now.
they are doing construction for the whole block.
and damn.
it's just,
terrible.
we have to remove almost everything.
so our stuff are like,
at places where they don't belong.

for example,
the dining table is moved to the balcony.

look at the empty space.
big right?

this was supposedly the dining area.

and now,

everything squeezed to the balcony.

tv and piano and sofa all wrapped up.

so we can only sit at the balcony if we are in the house.

and they dismantled the whole toilet,

and moved a temporary cubicle in the kitchen.

i have showed some of you how pathetic that thing is.

if i remember,

i'll bluetooth the picture from my phone to upload it here.

so yah.

the whole house is freaking dusty and dirty.

and you have strange people walking into your house like,

the whole day?

we wear our slippers and shoes into the house.

and we have to use a temporary toilet at the void deck if we need to shit.

so mummy says :

"before you all come home, faster go and clear everything ah!

come home already then try not to eat or drink."

anyway,

enough of the whining.

want to see my dee dee climbing?

i went to support him at his competition at velocity.

he completed all his routes.

and was ranked 11th out of 100+ i think.

that's my boy.

and,

happy 43 months anniversary.

current book : the time traveller's wife.

2009-05-17T21:19:00.003+08:00

okay okay.

i'm back.

tags replied :

JM : i pity myself too. ):

Aroon : yes. now i get what you mean.

hui hui : lucky we get attached to the same centre lor. or else i'll die alone. ):

sying : yes. it's just, weird.

ming li : OMG. you want to help me? :P

hui hui : updating! (:

okay.

i know i haven't been blogging.

just a preview on what i've been up to.

mothers day.

tingie and i filled this jar up with paper hearts.

we folded it ourselves. (:

and also,

i made her a card.

nice nice?

on another day,

dee brought me for fondue. (:

the pictures we took that day was horrid.

so,

i'm not gonna post it up here.

anyway,

breakfast that daddy made on a random day.

hohoho.

oh well.

last week was school.

but i didn't go on thurs and fri.

went to see doctor on thurs.

and they made me wear this mask.

a mask you know.

so embarrassing.

and i was isolated at the fever corner.

sad right!

stupid flu.

ROAR

and they are renovating all the units in my block.

they are hacking the toilet.

and my house looks so foreign.

then we have to use this temporary toilet at the void deck.

totally hate it.

school's on tmr.

so not looking forward to it.

dee dee, imy. ):

LOVES

empty promises are as good as lies.

hypocrites

sunny island

Tags

stuffed happiness.

after thoughts.

pathetic

love quizzes

Clarabel Low & Siok Xue Qian

Should you dump your boyfriend?

downhill

oh, like whatever.

Greed

♥

hindrance.

hallelujah chorus!

pineapple tarts

math corner!

Animal picture book

seriously, fuck it.

borrow, return, take double.

fellow ostriches

tags

another week

laopo (:

moody monday

sheer stupidity

just realised.

Good to be Eighteen

common enemy.

<3

candy canes

i adore old people

christmas hats

it's day four

Day two and three

Day One without you

when things just go wrong

meant to

strangers

smarties

Rainy mornings

Learn to treasure

week two of school

WORK

Just a brief update

bottle full of love

devastated is the word

Birthdays

The wake up call

the world's no longer the same